Celebrate the gifts you have been given

Adapted from http://cathytaughinbaugh.com/fathers-story-addiction-and-a-promise-for-the-future/  Excerpts from David Cooke’s book, Behind the Dumpster. 

It is the story of a father, who after eighteen months of living with the hurt, pain, confusion, and chaos caused by his son’s heroin addiction, realized that every day the son enabled his addiction related life it was destroying his..

His health, his business, his relationships and his psyche were systematically falling apart as a result of his commitment to save his son even though the son wasn’t ready, interested in, or willing to do it for himself. It took him a long time to come to the realization there was nothing he could do to save his son until, or unless, he was willing to commit to saving himself, first.

So, what did he do?

Please welcome David Cooke! In his own words…

“In an ironic and twisted way, my son’s addiction, as painful as it has been for me, is also the gift that completely changed my life.

Three years ago I embarked on an adventure that completely changed my life for the better. On this definitive morning I began a new journey in a quest to reclaim my life and define a new path for success despite this adversity in my life.

I committed to riding my bicycle for at least one hour a day for one hundred consecutive days. Though I did not know where this would lead me, the focused commitment associated with this challenge took me on a new path and a different mindset that ended up being exactly the transformational journey I needed in my life.

From that very first ride, I found inspiration, energy, and opportunity in distancing myself from my son’s addiction. Though the pain and the hurt never really went away – it never does – I discovered a sense of confidence, clarity, and purpose for MY existence in those early morning meditational rides.

When I returned from that first ride, I was inspired by this thought that I came to me on that very first morning bike ride. 'No matter how dark the present appears, I live for the promise of the future, celebrating the opportunities created through my passion and my gifts.'

This is how I live and celebrate my life, in my daily recovery from my son’s addiction. Though I still suffer from the pain and the hurt of the struggles my son faces in his addiction, it does not define who I am, what I have been called to do, or the gifts I have been given to accomplish it.

Today, I celebrate my son’s one hundred and fiftieth day of recovery. I pray that it lasts long after I am gone and I hope that he stays on this path of progress and opportunity.

In the meantime, I am celebrating over eleven hundred days of my own recovery – the day I regained control over my life and gave myself the opportunity of strength, courage, joy, and peace in the face of those things that trouble and pain me most.

My advice to parents who are suffering, hurting, and lamenting the experiences of addiction in their lives and in their family is to find your recovery.

Your ability to live your life, celebrate the gifts you have been given, and to find peace in the chaos gives you the strength, clarity, and purpose to endure and grow.

Hopefully your child will find their way back to you where you will celebrate your ability to be there for them.

If you allow their addiction to destroy you, there is nothing left for them to hang on to when they need you.

The best gift you can give, besides your unconditional love, is to be strong for them when they are present and stronger for yourself when they are not!”