Start with yourself

 A Zen Story

One day one person climbed up a mountain where a hermit woman was meditating. She had taken refuge and was asked, “What are you doing here alone in such a solitude place?”

To which she replied:  “I have lots of work !”

“And how can you have so much work? I don't see anything around you here...?”

“I have to train two Hawks and two Eagles, assure two Rabbits, discipline one Snake , motivate a Donkey and tame a Lion .....”

“And, where have they gone that I don't see them?”

“I have them all inside here within me...!!

The Hawks stare on everything that is presented to me, good or bad, I have to work on them to see only good things. They are my Eyes.

The two Eagles with their claws hurt and destroy, I have to train them not to hurt. They are my hands.

Rabbits want to go where they want, at the same time they do not want to face difficult situations, I have to teach them to be calm even if there is suffering or stumbling.  They are my feet.

The Donkey is always tired, stubborn and does not want to carry the load each time I walk. That is my body!

The most difficult to tame is the "Snake."  Although it is locked in a strong cage with 32 bars , it is always ready to sting, bite and poison anyone nearby. I have to discipline it...  that's my tongue.

I also have One Lion. Oh, how proud, vain, he thinks that "he is the king." I have to tame him. And that's my EGO.

So you see, my friend, I have  lots of work."

Think & Reflect! We all may have the same. Lots to work on ourselves! So, Stop Criticising, Evaluating & Judging others!

Let’s First work on ourselves!

Do not Quit

Author Unknown

A dramatic ballad singer studied under a strict teacher who insisted that he rehearse day after day, month after month the same passage from the same song, without being permitted to go any further.

Finally, overwhelmed by frustration and despair, the young man ran off to find another profession.

One night, stopping at an inn, he stumbled upon a recitation contest. Having nothing to lose, he entered the competition and, of course, sang the one passage that he knew so well.

When he had finished, the sponsor of the contest highly praised his performance. Despite the student’s embarrassed objections, the sponsor refused to believe that he had just heard a beginner perform.

“Tell me,” the sponsor said, “who is your instructor? He must be a great master.” 

The student later became known as the great performer Koshiji.

Story Courtesy: https://academictips.org/blogs/practice-makes-perfect-dont-quit/

Education and Experience

Unknown Author

There is a difference between education and experience.

Education is what you get from reading the small print.

Experience is what you get from not reading it! 

But isn't it true that great learning comes from both education and experience? 

Let me tell you a parable:

A young school teacher had a dream that an angel appeared to him and said, "You will be given a child who will grow up to become a world leader. How will you prepare her so that she will realize her intelligence, grow in confidence, develop both her assertiveness and sensitivity, be open—minded, yet strong in character? In short, what kind of education will you provide that she can become one of the world's truly GREAT leaders?"

The young teacher awoke in a cold sweat. It had never occurred to him before —any ONE of his present or future students could be the person described in his dream. Was he preparing them to rise to ANY POSITION to which they may aspire? He thought, 'How might my teaching change if I KNEW that one of my students were this person?'  

He gradually began to formulate a plan in his mind:

·         This student would need experience as well as instruction.

·         She / he would need to know how to solve problems of various kinds.

·         She / he would need to grow in character as well as knowledge.

·         She / he would need self assurance as well as the ability to listen well and work with others.

·         She / he would need to understand and appreciate the past, yet feel optimistic about the future.

·         She / he would need to know the value of lifelong learning in order to keep a curious and active mind.

·         She / he would need to grow in understanding of others and become a student of the spirit.

·         She/ he would need to set high standards for herself and learn self discipline, yet  would also need love and encouragement, that they might be filled with love and goodness.

His teaching changed. Every young person who walked through his classroom became, for him, a future world leader. He saw each one, not as they were, but as they could be. He expected the best from his students, yet tempered it with compassion. He taught each one as if the future of the world depended on his instruction.

After many years, a woman he knew rose to a position of world prominence.  He realized that she must surely have been the girl described in his dream. 

It turned out she was not one of his students, but rather his daughter. For all the various teachers in her life, her father was the best. 

I've heard it said that "Children are living messages we send to a time and place we will never see." But this isn't simply a parable about an unnamed school teacher. It is a parable about you and me —whether or not we are parents or even teachers.

And the story, OUR story, actually begins like this:

"You will be given a child who will grow up to become...."  You finish the sentence.

If not a world leader, then a superb father?

An excellent teacher?

A gifted healer?

An innovative problem solver?

An inspiring artist?

A generous philanthropist?

Where and how you will encounter this child is a mystery. But believe that one child's future may depend upon influence only you can provide, and something remarkable will happen. For no young person will ever be ordinary to you again. And you will never be the same.

Be masters of mouths, not slaves of words

There was an old man who spread rumours about his neighbour that he was a thief. And the young man was arrested.

Days later the young man was proven innocent. After been released from the jail, he sued the old man for defamation.

In court, the old man told the judge, “They were just comments. Didn’t mean to harm anyone.”

The judge told the old man, “Write all the things you said on a piece of paper.” The old man wrote.

The judge asked him to cut them into pieces. The old man did.

The judge then said, “On the way home, throw the pieces of paper out. Come back tomorrow to hear the sentence.”

The next day, the judge told the old man, “Before hearing the sentence, please go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday."

The old said, “How can I do that? The wind must’ve spread them and I wouldn’t know where to find them.”

The judge then replied, "The same way, simple comments may destroy the honour of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it. If you can’t speak well of someone, rather don’t say anything.”

Lets all be masters of our mouths and not slaves of our words.

Love of a family

That night, Sue quarreled with her mother, then stormed out of the house. While en route, she remembered that she did not have any money in her pocket, not even enough coins to make a phone call home.

At the same time, she went through a noodle shop, picking up sweet fragrance, she suddenly felt very hungry. She wished for a bowl of noodles, but she had no money!

The seller saw her standing wheat faltered before the counter and asked:

“Hey little girl, you want to eat a bowl?”

“But … but I do not carry money,” she shyly replied.

“Okay, I’ll treat you,” the seller said, “come in, I will cook you a bowl.”

A few minutes later the owner brought her a steaming bowl of noodles. Sue ate some pieces and cried.

“What is it?,” he asked.

“Nothing. I am just touched by your kindness.” Sue said as she wiped her tears. “Even a stranger on the street gives me a bowl of noodles, and my mother, after a quarrel, chased me out of the house. She is cruel!!”

The man sighed. “Girl, why did you think so? Think again. I only gave you a bowl of noodles and you felt that way. Your mother had raised you since you were little, why were you not grateful and disobeyed your mom?”

Sue was really surprised after hearing that.

“Why did I not think of that? A bowl of noodles from a stranger made me feel indebted, and my mother has raised me since I was little and I have never felt so, even a little.”

On the way home, Sue thought in her head what she would say to her mother when she arrives home: “Mom, I’m sorry. I know it is my fault, please forgive me … ”

Once up the steps, Sue saw her mother worried and tired of looking for her everywhere. Upon seeing Sue, her mother gently said: “Sue, come inside honey. You are probably very hungry? I cooked rice and prepared the meal already, come eat while it is still hot …”

Couldn't control any longer, Sue cried in her mom’s hands.

Rules for children:
In life, we sometimes easily appreciate the small actions of some people around us, but when it comes to parents, we take their sacrifices for granted. Parents do not expect us to pay back for nurturing us …… but have we ever appreciated or treasured the unconditional sacrifice of our parents?

Rules for Parents:
A child must learn to think on his/her own so do not expect him/her to immediately and blindly be obedient. Try not to be reactive and pile on punishment, or your child may never have the chance to make responsible decisions because they are too busy 'being grounded'. Do not keep your child on a short leash, let them grow up naturally with some amount of space and freedom. The rules for parents are but three......Love, Limit and Let them be.

Frustrations lead to anger and aggression

A master and his student were walking along the street.

At one point, they saw a shoemaker being insulted by a customer who claimed that there was something wrong with his shoes. The shoemaker calmly listened to his complaints, apologised and promised to make good the mistake.

On the way they stopped to have a coffee at a coffee shop. At the next table, the waiter asked a man if he would mind moving his chair slightly so that he could get by. The man at once erupted in a torrent of abuse and refused to move.

"Never forget what you have seen," said the master to his student. "The shoemaker accepted the customer's complaint, while this man next to us flared up just for a silly reason. People who perform some productive tasks are not bothered if they are treated as if they were useless, but those who do no useful work always think themselves to be very important and hide their incompetence behind their authority."

There is a saying "Frustration begets anger and anger begets aggression." People who are non productive develop an inferiority complex and are, in general, a frustrated lot. Frustration is the spur that provokes an emotional response which is anger. Anger, in turn, serves as the motivational stimulus for additional response which in many cases may take the form of aggression. Thus, the cliché says, “Frustration leads to anger, which in turn leads to aggression.”

Criticism as an useful tool

Ole Bull was the famous Norwegian violinist of the past century.

His father, a chemist, sent him to the University to study for the ministry and forbade him to play his beloved violin. He promptly flunked out and devoted all his time and energy to the violin.

Unfortunately, though he had great ability, when he started his first concert tour he wasn't well prepared.

In Italy a Milan newspaper critic wrote: "He is an untrained musician. If he be a diamond, he is certainly in the rough and unpolished."

There were two ways Ole Bull could have reacted to that criticism.
1.He could have let it make him angry or
2. he could learn from it.

Fortunately he chose the latter. He went to the newspaper office and asked to see the critic. The astounded editor introduced him to the old man. Ole spent the evening with the 70-year-old critic, asked about his faults, and sought the older man's advice on how to correct them.

Then he cancelled the rest of his tour, returned home, and spent the next six months studying under really able teachers. He practiced hours upon hours to overcome his faults.

Finally, he returned to his concerts and, when only 26, became the sensation of Europe.

How a person reacts to criticism often means the difference between success and failure. Dealing with criticism positively is an important life skill.

How do we do it?
Lets first understand that there are two types of criticism –
1. constructive & valid and
2. destructive & unjustified. 

Learning to recognise the difference between the two can help us deal with any criticism that we may receive.

Destructive or unjustified criticism, as the name suggests itself, is aimed to hurt you. Its often insensitivity of the person who criticizes and gives rise to anger and belligerence on the one criticized. It does not give any positive feedback and puts down the one criticized.

Constructive or valid criticism, on the other hand, can be construed to be a useful feedback. No doubt it can also hurt you but its easier to accept because it is aimed not only to point out your mistakes but also show you where and how improvements can be made. It can help you improve yourself rather than put you down.

"He has the right to criticize, who has the heart to help," Abraham Lincoln

The key is to have confidence in your abilities. With self-confidence, criticism isn’t a threat. It’s a useful tool.

Life is game, play it

A young man said to the abbot of a monastery: ‘I would really like to become a monk, but I have learned nothing of importance in my life. My father only taught me how to play chess, and that does not lead to enlightenment. And besides, I was told that all games are sinful.'

'They can be sinful, but they can also be a diversion, and perhaps this monastery needs a little of both,' came the reply.

The abbot called for a chessboard and summoned a monk to play with the young man.

However, before the game began, he added: ‘We may need diversion, but we cannot have everyone playing chess all the time. We will have only the best players here. If our monk loses, he will leave the monastery, thus creating an opening for you.'

The abbot was deadly serious. The young man played an aggressive game, but then he noticed the saintly look in the monk's eyes, and from then on, he began to play deliberately badly.

He decided that he would rather lose because he felt that the monk could prove far more useful to the world than him.

Suddenly, the abbot overturned the chessboard onto the floor.
'You learned far more than you were taught,' he said.
'You have the powers of concentration necessary to win and you are capable of fighting for what you want, but you also have compassion and the ability to sacrifice yourself for a noble cause. You have shown yourself capable of balancing discipline and mercy; welcome to our monastery!'