Never, Never, Never Be Late

A WhatsApp Forward

A Pastor was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.

The leading local legislator was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, he was late, so the Pastor decided to say his own few words while they waited.

He commenced. “Thank Goodness we have a wonderful sense of humour!”

“I got my first impression of this parish from the very first confession I ever heard here. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it.  He had stolen money from his parents; misappropriated his employer’s funds; had an affair with his boss’s wife; taken illegal drugs; was arrested several times.  I was appalled that one person could do so many awful things. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place.”

Just as the Pastor finished his talk, the legislator arrived full of apologies at being late.

He immediately began his speech. “I’ll never forget the first day our Priest arrived,” said the legislator. “In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.”

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

😄😅😜😜

 ....

Sensible teamwork

Once there was a family of mother, father, their 4 sons and the 4 daughters-in law all living together.

All 4 daughters-in law were good but there was always clash--whose responsibility it is to do what house work.

One day the mother-in law decided to end this problem by assigning proper responsibilities. So she called all 4 of them and said:
“I know you are all very good and you don't shy from responsibilities; but since the responsibilities are not clear, you have misunderstanding. Lets now define the responsibilities.

One of you – will prepare the food
2nd one – will arrange the dining table
3rd one – will serve the food
4th one – will clean the utensils and dining table

When each one of you finished your job you will announce so that the next person will do the next job.

And every week we will rotate these responsibilities.”

All of them said it is good idea and agreed.

The next day :
The first daughter in law prepared the food and when she finished she informed, “food is prepared.”

The second daughter in law arranged the food in the table and announced, “food is arranged in table and everybody come to eat.”

The 3rd daughter in law started serving the food and she announced, "food is served.”

The 4th daughter in law collected all the plates and utensils from the table and cleaned them and said, “the utensils and dining table is cleared.”

The mother-in law was dumb stuck.

Though all of them performed their duties and responsibilities, the end result was no one ate anything and the food was a complete waste.

Lesson? It is not just adequate to divide the responsibilities but sensible teamwork is very important to make things work.

Laughter, an antidote to depression

Excerpts from Steve Goodier’s post in  www.LifeSupportSystem.com

There are many ways to respond when life takes a serious turn, but even then, perhaps especially then, one of the best is to find some humor.

Katie was a young woman with a great, big problem. She was a teenager dying of leukemia. Katie's mother wrote to tell how her daughter approached her disease. She told about a time, shortly after a bone marrow transplant, when Katie's head was “slickly bald,” as she put it.

One day Katie heard the doctor coming on rounds and ducked into the bathroom. Her mother heard her giggling and asked, "Katie, what is so funny?"

She put her finger to her lips, pulled a Nike ski cap onto her head and crawled into bed.

When the doctor came in, she said, "Well, Miss Katie! How are you feeling today?"

Katie frowned and said, "I am OK, I guess... but I just have this 'splitting' headache.”

She pulled off her ski cap and there on her bald head was a huge red crack, which she had drawn with a marker. As the doctor recovered from her initial shock, the room exploded in laughter.

Katie did not survive the cancer, but she conquered depression and despair and found an authentic way to live as fully as possible her last months of life.

“It DOES help!” Katie's mother asserted at the end of her letter.

Mark Twain says that the "human race has unquestionably one really effective weapon – laughter.”

Laughing at the twists and turns of life may not be your first response, but it can be one of the best. 

Children's prayers

A mother was teaching her 3-year-old the Lord's prayer.
For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her mother.
One night she said she was ready to solo.
The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer. "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."

A woman invited some people over for dinner. At the table she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
The girl replied, "I wouldn't know what to say."
"Just say what you heard Mommy say," the mother answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?

A 5 year old boy was sitting down to eat when his mother asked him to pray for his meal.
He replied, "Mom we don't have to. We prayed over this last night."
His mother had prepared leftovers from the day before.

A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold,"
At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, "How come you called God, Harold?”
The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name."

And this particular four-year-old prayed: "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

Covering up a mistake

A funny incident by unknown author

A man was sitting in the living room one day when his cat dragged in a little "gift" in its mouth - a dead animal of some sort.

Taking a closer look, he was dismayed to recognize the dead animal to be a bunny that belonged to a little girl who lived next door. Her name was Bonny.

He felt terrible, believing his cat had killed Bonny's bunny.

The quick-thinking man came up with a plan. Removing from the cat's mouth the dead animal, which by now was a dirty mess, he put it in the kitchen sink. With a little warm water and some shampoo, he tried to clean up the dead bunny as best he could. Then he took a hair dryer (a "hare dryer" actually) and blow-dried the bunny until it looked pretty good.

Finally, he took the dead bunny out to the neighbor's rabbit hutch and placed it back in the cage. He kind of fluffed him up so that he looked very natural there in his little box.

The next morning, he looked out the window and noticed a crowd of people gathered around the rabbit hutch. Everyone seemed to be talking and pointing. He decided to go over and act like any normal curious neighbor and find out what was going on.

When he got there, Bonny's mother told him, "You won't believe what has happened! It's a miracle! Bonny's bunny passed away a few days ago, and we buried that little bunny right over there..."

When we get caught doing something wrong, we may attempt to cover it up with a lie. But just like Bonny's bunny, the result is never what we expect. We end up looking foolish. We would have been better off admitting we were wrong and accepting the consequences.

You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them.

Love & Madness

A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it for the first time, and vices floated around and were bored, not knowing what to do.

One day, all the vices and virtues were gathered together and were more bored than ever. Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea: "Let's play hide and seek!"

All of them liked the idea and immediately Madness shouted: "I want to count, I want to count!" And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed.

Madness leaned against a tree and started to count: "One, two, three..."

As Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding.
Tenderness hung itself on the horn of the moon...
Betrayal hid in a pile of garbage...
Fondness curled up between the clouds...and
Passion went to the centre of the earth....
Lie said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake... whilst

Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking.

Laziness stayed in the same place without hiding

And Madness continued to count: .... "seventy nine, eighty, eighty one..."

By this time, all the vices and virtues were already hidden - except Love. For undecided as Love is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love.

Madness: "...ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven..."

Just when Madness got to one hundred.........Love jumped into a rose bush where he hid.

And Madness turned around and shouted: "I'm coming, I'm coming!"

As Madness turned around, Laziness was the first to be found, because Laziness had no energy to hide. Then he spotted Tenderness in the horn of the moon, Lie at the bottom of the lake and Passion at the centre of the earth. One by one, Madness found them all - except Love.

Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love.

Envious of Love, Envy whispered to Madness: "I'll tell you where love is Love is hiding. She is in the rose bush."

Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the rosebush. Madness stabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him stop.

Love appeared from the rose bush, covering her face with his hands. Between her fingers ran two trickles of blood from her eyes.

Madness, so anxious to find Love, had stabbed out Love's eyes with a pitch fork. "What have I done! What have I done!" Madness shouted. "I have left you blind! How can I repair it?"

And Love answered: "You cannot repair my eyes. But if you want to do something for me, you can be my guide."

And so it came about that from that day on, Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness.

Obituary of Someone Else

Author Unknown

I know that all of you were saddened to learn this week of the death of one of the most valuable members of our community-- Someone Else.

Someone's passing created a vacancy that will be difficult to fill.

Else has been with us for many years, and for every one of those years, Someone did far more than the normal person's share of the work. 

Whenever leadership was mentioned, this wonderful person was looked to for inspiration as well as results. "Someone Else can work with that group." 

Whenever there was a job to do, a class to teach, or a meeting to attend, one name was on everyone's lips, "Let Someone Else do it." 

It was common knowledge that Someone Else was among the largest givers in the community. Whenever there was a financial need, everyone just assumed that "Someone Else would make up the difference."

Someone Else was a wonderful person, sometimes appearing super-human, but a person can only do so much. 

Were the truth known, everyone expected too much of Someone Else. 

Now Someone Else is gone. 

We wonder what we are going to do. 

Someone Else left a wonderful example to follow, but who is going to follow it? 

Who is going to do the things Someone Else did? 

Remember, we can't depend on Someone Else anymore.

A thought worth pondering............

My Grandma

- Author Unknown -

The computer swallowed My grandma
Yes, honestly its true
I pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And she disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely
The thought just makes me squirm
She must have caught a 'virus'
Or been eaten by a 'worm.'

I've searched through the 'recycle bin'
And files of every kind
I've even used the 'Internet'
But nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine
The reply from him was negative
Not a thing was found 'online.'

So if inside your 'Inbox'
My Grandma you should see
Please 'Copy,' 'Scan' and 'Paste' her
And send her back to me!

Humility

It’s been said that life is a long lesson in humility.

The true and everlasting strength of mankind is found in humility. 

“The ex factor of great leadership is not personality, it’s humility,” says Management expert Jim Collins.

Leaders need to understand that being authentically humble humanizes them, allows them to build stronger trust bonds, and engenders confidence & loyalty from peers and subordinates alike.

A man received a promotion to the position of Vice President of the company he worked for. The promotion went to his head, and for weeks on end he bragged to anyone and everyone that he was now VP. 

His bragging came to an abrupt halt when his wife, so embarrassed by his behaviour, said, “Listen, it’s not that big a deal. These days everyone’s a vice president. Why they even have a "Vice president of peas" down at the supermarket!”

Somewhat disheartened, he rang the local supermarket to find out if this was true. 

“Can I speak to the Vice President of peas please?” he asked.

“Of fresh or frozen?”, came the reply.

Self Appraisal

A Little boy went to a telephone booth which was at the cash counter of a store and dialed a number. The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

Boy: “Lady, can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?”

Woman: (at the other end of the phone line) “I already have someone to cut my lawn.”

Boy: “Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price than the person who cuts your lawn now.”

Woman: “I’m very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting the lawn.”

Boy: (with more perseverance) “Lady, I’ll even sweep the floor and the stairs of your house for free.”

Woman: “No, thank you.”

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.

Store-owner: “Son….I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.”

Boy: “No thanks.”

Store-owner: “But you were really pleading for one.”

Boy: “No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!”

”This is called Self Appraisal”

Give your best and the world comes to you !!!

Tiny Truths

Tiny truths………that you can enjoy

1. Notice at Church, Mandir & Gurudwaras:
''Do not leave your mobile; purses, wallets, hand-bags, girl friends unattended... Others may think it is an answer to their Prayers:''..

2. Who is a Psychiatrist?..
A qualified person who gives you an expensive and critical analysis about yourself, which your spouse gives for free, daily too..!

3. No matter how many times the Teeth bite the Tongue..
They still stay together in one Mouth;
That is the Spirit of Forgiveness!!!

The patient

A caller telephoned St. Peter's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"

The caller in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Anna, Room 105."

The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Anna is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal, and her physician, Dr. John, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."

The caller said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news."

The operator replied, “You’re more than welcome. Is Anna your daughter?"

The caller said, "No, I'm Anna in Room 105. No one tells me anything."

God, the photographer

Author Unknown

A little girl walked daily to and from school. Though the weather this particular morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her trek to the elementary school. As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning.

The child's mother, concerned that her daughter would be frightened and possibly harmed by the storm got into her car and drove along the route to her child's school.

As she did so, she saw her little daughter walking along happily but at each flash of lightning the child would stop, look up, and smile.

Stopping the car, the mother called to the child to get in with her. As they drove toward school, the girl continued to turn toward each lightning flash and smile.

The Mother asked, "What are you doing?"

The child answered, "Well, I must do this, God keeps taking pictures of me."

Mechanic vs Doctor

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.....
.
.
.
.
He said: "Try to do it when the engine is running"  

:)

Management lesson

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not?"

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. 

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

*Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.*

What gender is computer?

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."

"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender -- "la computadora" because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine--"el computador" because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

Who wins? You decide. :0

Hard work pays

Many times we lay such a strong accent on computer technologies, social media and smart phones that we forget the value of hard work and resilience. The result?

An unemployed man applied for a janitor’s position at a famous IT Solutions Firm quite a few years ago.

He was interviewed by HR and successfully passed all of the pre-requisite tests.

He was then asked for an email address so that the employment package could be sent through.

The man panicked and confessed to the HR Manager that he didn’t have an email address.

The manager responded that if he didn’t have an email address, then he virtually didn’t exist and couldn’t possibly work for a company like them.

The man left the interview distraught and broke.

Down to his last $10 he walked into a supermarket and bought 10 pounds of strawberries.

He then went from door to door selling the strawberries, doubling his money in a couple of hours.

He repeated the process a few times and ended the day with $60 in his pocket.

Encouraged by his small success, he got up earlier the next day and worked hard selling strawberries, making more money every day.

Over time, he was able to invest in a wheelbarrow, then a truck and after a while he had a fleet of trucks delivering produce.

As the years went on, he became the owner of a chain of stores, a terrific success story from such humble beginning.

As he was now quite wealthy, the man considered his future and his family and investigated getting some life insurance. He contacted an agent and chose a policy that met his needs.

At the conclusion of the conversation, the agent asked for his email address so that he could send him a confirmation of the policy.

The man responded, “But I don’t have an email address.”

The agent was surprised and said, “That’s amazing! You have no email, yet you were able to build this empire. Just imagine where you would be if you had an email address.”

The man thought for a moment and replied, “Yes, I would be cleaning toilets at a famous IT Solutions Firm.”

Humor, the best policy

So, you imagine me to be a very serious personality with a grim face, writing about life’s struggles, lessons, woes, ageing, inspirational messages……..all that serious stuff? Let me clarify. The 2 women who made a great impact on my life are Susan Boyle and Rose (both in my earlier posts). The former said, “this is only one side of my personality.” The latter said, “you have to laugh and find humor every day." So, here’s the other side of me. The fun side. No its not a new addition. Reminiscing my college days, when the English professor would be passionately discussing the “Paradise” that Milton “Lost”, we a gang of 3 sitting in the last row, would’ve “Regained” that “Paradise” by stealthily sharing a joke from a joke book which used to be our Bible. This side always existed and continues to do so as our gang still exchanges jokes even though we are centered in different parts of the world. Jai Ho to my college friends, to whom I dedicate this post. Humorous poem, Humorous quotes, Funny story, joke—all this for you too to stay young.

First comes a poem which I chanced upon in the Net. It brought all smiles to my face as it was tailor made for my husband who is a committed Bridge player. Come rain or sunshine, he’s not the one to miss his Bridge game every week. Or else his partner would miss him, his Bridge partner, I mean!

A Lovely Hand               by Anonymous

Last night I held a lovely hand,
It was so small and neat, 
I thought my heart with joy would burst
So wild was every beat.

No other hand unto my heart
Could greater pleasure bring 
Than the one so dear I held last night.
Four Aces and a King

Here are some wild quotes:

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. Lily Tomlin

"There are two different kinds of people in this world: those who finish what they start, and"
---Brad Ramsey

"The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy."
---Unknown

"You've reached middle age when all you exercise is caution." ---Unknown

“The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about." ---Unknown

Graduation Speech: I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste.

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. Thomas Paine

If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight. George Globol

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. Mark Twain

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. Mark Twain

And a miserly story:

There was a miser who had worked all his life and had saved lots of money. He loved money more than anything. Just before dying, he told his wife, “I want to take all this money with me to the other side. So I want you to put all my money in my casket while burying.” He made her promise him with all her heart that she would do so.

And one day he died. He was laid in the casket; his wife sat next to it with a close friend. The ceremony ended. Just before the undertakers were closing the casket, the wife came with a big box and placed it in the casket. The undertakers closed the casket and rolled it away.

Her friend said, “I hope you were not foolish enough to put all his money in that box?”

The wife replied, “See, I’m a good Christian. I can’t lie. I promised him that I would put all his money in the casket with him.”

And the friend asked unbelievingly, “So you really did?”

“I sure did”, said the wife. “I got all his money. Put it in my bank and I wrote a him a cheque.”

And finally a saintly joke:

A saint who regularly lectures on spirituality goes to a vendor selling buns and says, “I want a bun.”

The vendor says, “4 Rupees”.

The saint gives him a 5 Re coin and waits for the vendor to give him the change but the vendor seems to ignore him.

Finally, the saint asks him,”Where is my change?”

The vendor replies, “Change only comes from within.”

Oh no. I’ve ended with an Inspirational message. Some people cannot be changed. (Pun intended) :)

Stay young

Growing old is a growing concern during middle age. It troubles most people. For some, aging is a dreadful thought. Because they feel that old age is always synonymous with general sickness and health problems.

At what stage does one really start aging? What is the yardstick? Becoming grandparents? Crossing 50? Or 60? Start greying? Well, the Government policy decides the retiring age as 60, meaning that at 60 you have become old enough not to come to work. Does one really become old at 60? Isn’t it a myth that after 60, there is nothing you can do anymore?  “Age is only a number” says Lexi Starling.

Michelangelo was appointed the architect of St Peters’ basilica in the Vatican to design its dome when he was 71 years old.  Harland Sanders, the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken moved to Canada to oversee his Canadian Franchises at the age of 75. He was active till the age of 80. He apparently wrote a book on cooking at the age of 70, which was found in the archives of KFC. John Milton wrote Paradise Regained when he was 63. The famous inventor Thomas Edison worked till the age of 83 in his laboratory. Mark twain wrote some of his master pieces when he was 71. The greatest discovery of Galileo was made when he was 72. Enough? No. Not really. Here comes the bouncer.

The story of Rose who joined University at the age of 87.

When she was introduced by the professor to others, one student asked her, "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?"

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel.”

Then on a serious note, she said, "I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!"

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester, Rose was invited to speak at football banquet. Her speech says it all.

She spoke: "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!......

.....There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything, I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability........

.....The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each one to study the lyrics and live them out in their daily lives.

At the year's end, Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation, Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

Certainly growing old brings some changes, some inabilities in the body. Like forgetfulness. But that doesn’t mean it’s a serious problem. Who doesn’t forget? And growing old has its own fun. As Rose said, one of the secrets of staying young is to laugh and find humor every day. Here we go.

An elderly couple had dinner at another elderly couple’s house. After eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The 2 elderly gentlemen were talking and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”

The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?”

The first man thought and thought and finally said, “what is the name of the flower that you give to someone you love? The one that is red and has thorns.”

“Did you mean Rose? “

“Yes,’ the man said. He turned toward the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of the restaurant we went to last night?”

Contradiction

Life does not expect us to be serious at all times. Its full of fun, frolic and humor. And full of contradictions! Am I contradicting myself?

The fact that there is something called ‘yin and yang’, ‘day and night’ that exists in life, shows that everything in this world exists as a pair of contradictions. These contradictions exist in ourselves in the form of joy and sorrow, success and failure, inspiration and dejection, likes and dislikes, etc., that we experience at times. But we also know that these experiences have a limited existence. They come and go. Which proves that these contradictions are like passing clouds and not to be taken seriously. The best way to achieve this is by treating them lightly and laughing it aloud.

Don’t we use contradictory or incongruous phrases—Oxymoron—in our daily conversation? Look at this passage full of Oxymoron.

It was whole half day party for married bachelors. It’s a new tradition. There was a small crowd. The host was holding a plastic glass in his hands with non-alcoholic beer. He then added alcoholic drinks to it. Soon his glass became fully empty and obviously, he was drunk. It was a pretty ugly sight. He wanted others to join him. One friend said, “Please include me out.” The host insisted, “Do not worry. No one will see. We are alone together.” His friend replied, “Not for once. I’ll never drink beer.” The host continued, “My friend, double negatives are no-no for me. You have to atleast join me for a cold hotdog and a fried icecream. You should also watch a live recording of my singing program. Its terribly good.” In reality he is not a good singer. There is something found missing in his singing. But the way he boasted about himself, he stood as a natural actor. He was a walking contradiction.

Someone is a walking contradiction when he is a hypocrite, to put it mildly. One who preaches but never practices, one who keeps his drawing room immaculate but the kitchen in a mess. In brief, one who talks the talk but doesn’t walk the walk.

Recently a friend narrated an incident about a parent who was worried. Her teenage daughter was ceaselessly tuned into loud pop music. Instead of listening to soothing classical music, her room was resonating with Michael Jackson’s “Black or White” and the like. The parent decided to meet the school principal and have a frank discussion to do something to save the children from this cultural attack. Surprisingly the principal agreed and assured the parent that the school would make Classical singing compulsory for all children. The parent was relieved to learn that her daughter and other children like her will be introduced to more soulful and sober music in school. She drove back humming “Black or White”!

The world around us is full of contradictions. But it’s a beautiful place to live in. Lets learn to laugh at these contradictions and live in this beautifully contradictory world with joy and peace. As I already said, these contradictions are only temporary. There is nothing permanent in this world except change!

By the way, do you consider phrases like “honest politician”, “attractive feminist”, “happily married”……… as Oxymoron? :) Do you have any more Oxymoron to share? Please leave your comments here.