Learn the facts before you assume

Author Unknown, Found at http://academictips.org/blogs

When I was in elementary school, I got into a major argument with a boy in my class. I have forgotten what the argument was about, but I have never forgotten the lesson I learned that day.

I was convinced that “I” was right and “he” was wrong – and he was just as convinced that “I” was wrong and “he” was right. The teacher decided to teach us a very important lesson.

She brought us up to the front of the class and placed him on one side of her desk and me on the other. In the middle of her desk was a large, round object. I could clearly see that it was black. She asked the boy what color the object was. “White,” he answered.

I couldn’t believe he said the object was white, when it was obviously black! Another argument started between my classmate and me, this time about the color of the object.

The teacher told me to go stand where the boy was standing and told him to come stand where I had been. We changed places, and now she asked me what the color of the object was. I had to answer, “White.”

It was an object with two differently colored sides, and from his viewpoint it was white. Only from my side it was black.

Sometimes we need to look at the problem from the other person’s view in order to truly understand his/her perspective.

Purity of heart and mind

As told by Sogyal Rinpoche in The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.

On this auspicious day of Buddha Purnima, a story dedicated to the Buddha

At the time of Buddha, there lived an old beggar woman called "Relying on Joy". She used to watch the kings, princes, and people making offerings to Buddha and his disciples, and there was nothing she would have liked more than to be able to do the same.

So she went out begging, but at the end of a whole day all she had was one small coin. She took it to the oil-merchant to try to buy some oil. He told her that she could not possibly buy anything with so little. But when he heard that she wanted it to make an offering to Buddha, he took pity on her and gave her the oil she wanted. She took it to the monastery, where she lit a lamp.

She placed it before Buddha, and made this wish: "I have nothing to offer but this tiny lamp. But through this offering, in the future may I be blessed with the lamp of wisdom. May I free all beings from their darkness. May I purify all their obstructions, and lead them to enlightenment."

That night the oil in all the other lamps went out. But the beggar woman's lamp was still burning at dawn, when Buddha's disciple Maudgalyayana came to collect all the lamps. When he saw that one was still alight, full of oil and with a new wick, he thought, "There's no reason why this lamp should still be burning in the day time," and he tried to blow it out. But it kept on burning. He tried to snuff it out with his fingers, but it stayed alight. He tried to smother it with his robe, but still it burned on.

The Buddha had been watching all along, and said, "Maudgalyayana, do you want to put out that lamp? You cannot. You cannot even move it, let alone put it out. If you were to pour the water from all ocean over this lamp, it still wouldn't go out. The water in all the rivers and the lakes of the world could not extinguish it. Why not? Because this lamp was offered with devotion and with purity of heart and mind. And that motivation has made it of tremendous benefit."

When Buddha had said this, the beggar woman approached him, and he made a prophesy that in the future she would become a perfect buddha, called "Light of the Lamp."

So it is our motivation, good or bad, that determines the fruit of our actions.

Cleverness and Kindness

A man with his donkey carrying two sacks of wheat was on his way to the market. After a little while he was tired and they rested under a tree.

When he woke up from his nap he could not see the donkey and started searching for the donkey everywhere. On the way he met a boy. He asked the boy, “Have you seen my donkey?”

The boy asked, “Is the donkey’s left eye blind, his right foot lame and is he carrying a load of wheat?”

The man was happy and said, “Yes, exactly! Where have you seen it?”

The boy answered, “I haven’t seen it.”

This made the man very angry. He concluded that the boy is lying and he took him to the village chief for punishment.

The judge asked, “Dear boy, if you had not seen at the donkey, how could you describe it?”

The boy answered, “I saw the tracks of a donkey and the right and left tracks were different from this I understood that the donkey that passed there was limping.
And the grass on the right side of the road was eaten but the grass on the left was not. From that I understood that his left eye was blind.
There were wheat seeds scattered on the ground and I understood that he must have been carrying a load of wheat.”

The judge understood the boy’s cleverness and told the man to forgive the boy.

God exists

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair and his beard cut as always. He started to have a good conversation with the barber who attended him. They talked about so many things on various subjects.

Suddenly, they touched the subject of God. The barber said: “Look man, I don’t believe that God exists as you say so.”

“Why do you say that?” asked the client.

“Well, it’s so easy; you just have to go out in the street to realize that God does not exist. Oh, tell me, if God existed, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can’t think of a God who permits all of these things.” 

The client stopped for a moment thinking but he didn’t want to respond so as to prevent an argument.

The barber finished his job and the client went out of the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with a long hair and beard. Then the client again entered the barbershop and he said to the barber: “You know what? Barbers do not exist.”

“How come they don’t exist?” asked the barber. “Well I am here and I am a barber.”

“No!” – the client exclaimed. “They don’t exist because if they did there would be no people with long hair and beard like that man who walks in the street.”

“Ah, barbers do exist, what happens is that people do not come to us.”

“Exactly!” - Affirmed the client. “That’s the point. God does exist, what happens is people don’t go to Him and do not look for Him that’s why there’s so much pain and suffering in the world.”

Listening skills

Excerpts from Steve Goodier www.LifeSupportSystem.com

Joe, a 22-year-old electrician went to Manhattan a few days after the September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center buildings. He wanted to volunteer his time, but discovered that his skills were not needed.

But it turns out that Joe was able to help in a way he never anticipated.

For on the train ride home, he sat across from a weary firefighter who was also traveling home from the scene of the disaster. The firefighter was covered in what appeared to be "ground zero" dirt and debris. Though Joe could see bits of rock in the man's hair and noticed that his hands were bloody, what worried the young man most was the look in the firefighter's eyes. They appeared lifeless and dull.

Then the man, apparently in shock, began to talk and Joe listened.

Joe soon forgot his own disappointment about not being able to volunteer his skills that day as he listened to the gruesome story the firefighter related.

The man told about retrieving a shoe with a foot inside. Joe listened.

He talked about cleaning debris from a face, then discovering that this person's body was gone. Joe continued to listen without flinching.

He did not react in disgust. He did not judge. He did not interrupt. He just listened.

He listened as the firefighter lamented about the carnage everywhere and about shoes...there were so many shoes, he said. Everywhere...shoes.

Through it all Joe quietly held the man's attention and listened, which is exactly what the rescue worker needed at that moment.

And because he listened, the man continued to speak. He talked his pain out, as much as possible. In the presence of a stranger, he tried to put his world back in order, to make sense of the day's chaos.

And Joe, for that time at least, helped him carry his unbelievably heavy burden.

That day Joe did not give blood, nor did he use his electrical skills to help with the relief effort.

But he did one of the most important things a human can do for another. He gave a stunned and disheartened man his whole attention, and thereby, in a small but vital way, assisted in the work of setting the world right.

Mary Lou Casey says, "What people really need is a good listening-to." It's not always easy. And, at times, it may not be fun. In fact, listening closely to another often turns out to be difficult work.

But day in and day out, attentive listening may be one of the most important and satisfying ways we can spend our time.

It's true. What people really need is a good listening-to.

Truth and Self-confidence

Divine Discourse by Sathya Sai Baba, 'My Dear Students', Vol 2, Ch 9, Feb 24, 2005.

Abraham Lincoln learnt to speak truth and conduct himself with self-respect and dignity, unafraid of his financial position, from the lap of his mother.

When little Abraham shared with his mother that he was disrespected and felt ashamed in the midst of his friends for wearing old and shabby clothes, she told him that he need not feel so.

She counselled him that poverty, though viewed in poor light by others, will eventually help him gain respect.

Lincoln later in his life declared, “You may disrespect me, but truth cannot be disrespected. It will emerge triumphant!”

He proceeded on the path of truth and self-confidence taught by his mother and became the President of the United States of America.

In fact, anyone who has the blessing of their mother will emerge very successful.

Self care

Stresses and worries

A Psychologist walked around a room while teaching Stress Management to an audience.

As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the... "Half empty or Half full" question.

Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. 

If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem.

If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm.

If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed.

In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change.

But

The longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

She continued, "The Stresses and Worries in Life , are like that Glass of Water...

Think about them for a while and nothing happens.

Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt.

And

If you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."

Remember to put the Glass Down —

Surrender unto God

Author Unknown

There was a King who looked after his subjects very well and there was no problem what so ever in his land. As time passed trivial problem started pouring in every day and the King had to resolve them.

He was getting old and felt his son was too young to find solutions to those problems. This thought was posing trouble; he was tense and lost sleep.

He always thought what would happen after him. In search of a solution to this problem he went to his Kulguru and said, “I am getting weaker day by day and am unable to rule the kingdom, my son is just a kid to take over what should I do, Gurudev.”

Kulguru said, “If you are unable to find person who can rule the land, then I suggest you to hand over the kingdom to me, I will handle it.”

King was very much pleased he said, “By all means I am ready.”

At that very instant taking the water from the kamandalu, the King poured the water from his hand to the hands of the Kulguru symbolizing the exchange of the power.

King stood up to leave. “Where are you going?” asked Kulguru.
“I will go far away from this kingdom and live a life of a commoner.” said the King.

“What are you going to do for a living?” Kulguru asked.

“I am ready to accept any job that come my way.” said the King.

Kulguru told, “If you are ready to do any job, come and work for me. I have a huge kingdom and I cannot run it, I need a person who has a good experience and I find you very suitable for the job.”

King said, “Oh Yes! I am for it, I accept the job.”

Kulguru said, “Good, start you work from this moment rule the kingdom on my behalf. Do not forget that nothing is yours and you are on payroll.”

King accepted the job and started ruling the kingdom on behalf of his KulguruA. After some months Kulguru came to the palace and asked the King, “How are you now? Do you still have tensions? How is your life going on?”

Gleefully the King replied, “Very happy Gurudev, I resolve the problem the whole day and have a peaceful sleep at. Nothing is mine. I only do my duty.”

Simply consider Him as the sole proprietor and do your work. All the tension will just vanish..

Focus on what you have to gain

Adapted from Paulo Coelho’s stories for parents, children & grandchildren

An old king of India condemned a man to the gallows. When the king had finished reading the sentence, the condemned man said: 'You are a wise man, Your Majesty, and curious about everything that your subjects do. You respect gurus, sages, snake-charmers and fakirs. Well, when I was a child, my grandfather taught me how to make a white horse fly. Since there is no one else in the whole kingdom who knows how to do this, my life should be spared.'

The king immediately ordered a white horse to be brought.

'I need to spend two years with this animal,' said the condemned man.

'All right, you will have two years,' replied the king, already somewhat suspicious. 'But if this horse does not learn to fly, you will be hanged.'

Overjoyed, the man left with the horse. When he reached his house, he found his whole family in tears.

'Are you mad?' they all cried. 'Since when has anyone in this house known how to make a horse fly?'

'Don't worry,' he said. 'First of all, no one has ever tried to teach a horse to fly, and the horse might well learn. Secondly, the king is already very old and he might die in the next two years. Thirdly, the horse might die and then I'll be given another two years to teach the new horse - not to mention the possibility of revolutions, coups d'état and general amnesties. And even if everything remains exactly as it is, I will still have gained two years of life with which I can do anything I like. Does that seem little to you?'

Occupying your mind with something before it actually happens is called pre-occupation. This is exactly what worrying is…. imagining that things, when they do happen, will always turn out for the worst.
Courage is…..trying to resolve problems that have not even had time to appear.