Rise, Fall and Equanimity

Last week whole of India was talking about one man. Rajesh Khanna. The Superstar who breathed his last. There were frenzied crowd fighting the rains, surrounding his house to have a last glimpse of him. After all, he was a Super star. The entire media was articulating his life and achievements as a superstar. Of course, all and only nice things about him. After all, it is not acceptable to speak ill of the deceased. In the middle of all this, a chance encounter in google took me to this site http://ibnlive.in.com/news/the-darker-shades-of-rajesh-khannas-life/272808-8-66.html

One fact stared at me crystal clear when I read that news. How a meteoric rise can affect a person who is not balanced in life. The monetary comforts, fame, flattery etc can easily take us all for a ride, to a dizzy heights. It makes one easy to be consumed by an overpowering pride. But when the fall happens, the story is different. It’s a collision between fantasy and reality. Which again takes one to a dizzy low. 

Maintaining equanimity in life is the question here. The ability to maintain a calm and sane attitude under all circumstances be it pleasant or unpleasant. One look at life will tell us that life is a continuous contrast of success and failure, gains and losses, rise and fall. I have already discussed it in one of my previous posts. This Zen story illustrates it further.

A young student at a Zen monastery comes to his master and throws himself at his feet, sobbing. The teacher lifts him up gently, and asks him, “What is troubling you, my son?” “O master,” the student falters, “I am so discouraged. My meditation is a nightmare—my mind is always running after worldly thoughts, my legs ache, I'm constantly falling asleep… I cannot concentrate on anything for even a breath. I think that I am just not cut out for meditation.”

The master pats his head and comforts him “Do not worry, my child. This is only a stage. It will pass, it will pass.” The student heaves a big sigh, bows to his master, and goes back to the meditation hall.

A few days later, he comes running to his master, grinning from ear to ear. “O master, by your grace, my meditation is completely transformed now! I’m getting so much joy, so much peace, so much depth…”

The master responds calmly, “Do not worry, my son. It will pass, it will pass.”

It IS a struggle to maintain an equanimous state in such circumstances. But not that difficult a struggle that one cannot face or overcome if only we understand that everything in life is only temporary. What is permanent then?

Unconditional  love. It is the only thing that can take us through the ocean of life. “Without compassion, the brain power that distinguishes humans from other animals can be a destructive force,” says Dalai Lama, who shows us how it is possible to remain equanimous even in the face of adversity. He adds, “If there is love, there is hope to have real families, real brotherhood, real equanimity, real peace. If the love within your mind is lost, if you continue to see other beings as enemies, then no matter how much knowledge or education you have, no matter how much material progress is made, only suffering and confusion will ensue.”

Lee Iacocca once asked legendary football coach Vince Lombardi what it took to make a winning team. The book entitled Iacocca records Lombardi's answer.

There are a lot of coaches with good ball clubs who know the fundamentals and have plenty of discipline but still don't win the game. Then you come to the third ingredient: “if you're going to play together as a team, you've got to care for one another. You've got to love each other. Each player has to be thinking about the next guy and saying to himself: If I don't block that man, Paul is going to get his legs broken. I have to do my job well in order that he can do his.”

"The difference between mediocrity and greatness," Lombardi said that night, "is the feeling those guys have for each other."

What a beautiful thought! What a wonderful feeling! “Philosophy teaches us to bear with equanimity the misfortunes of others.” Says Oscar Wilde. 

Life teaches us here that happiness is not coupled with rise, wealth, success or gain alone. It is something beyond that. Its attained when we surpass all these and maintain an attitude that is filled with unconditional love which ultimately showers the equanimity that is required to lead a peaceful life. 

First chapter in the book of Wisdom

Mark Twain once jokingly remarked that many people regard truth as their most valuable possession and this explained why they were most economical in its use.

Honesty and integrity are the foundations that are laid for building the mansion called "Trust". They are one of the most crucial elements in a healthy life style.

A society which is built on this foundation perform much better on a range of issues than the one which is weaker on this front. A few weeks back I wrote about issues like scams and other negative elements which are haunting our community right now. We are and have been living in the age of scams, corruption and the likes. Well, the open secret about these trends is the lack of integrity on the part of the individuals concerned. 

Dictionary describes “integrity” as ‘adherence to moral and ethical principles’, ‘soundness of moral character’ and ‘honesty’. “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching” said C.S Lewis. Obviously, these individuals do not do the right thing even when everybody is watching.

Does it mean the value “integrity” has vanished into thin air? No, it’s not. Just have a look at this video.* A wonderful, short, 2 minute film on 'integrity’. Touches the heart.

A french proverb goes, "There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience." Am sure the boy in the film would've had a wonderful and peaceful sleep that night in that soft pillow.
Confidence and courage go hand in hand with Integrity. The depth of one's character is revealed by the choices that one makes at times of acting in accordance with the truth. For a man of integrity,  "Integrity" is ONE--be it personal, corporate or official matter. It does not change color. It is not a clothing which he slips on and off. He doesn’t need to fear anyone or any situation. He can say "no" when unreasonable requests are made of him. He speaks what he thinks and does what he speaks. He does not manipulate any information for personal gains. If he does, he loses his credibility and everything else that accompanies that. 

Like the man in the following story.

Once upon a time, there was a Selfish Man. He liked everything to be his own. He could not share his belongings with anyone, not even his friends or the poor.

One day, the man lost thirty gold coins. He went to his friend's house and told him how he lost his gold coins. His friend was a kind man. As his friend's daughter was coming from an errand she found thirty gold coins, when she arrived home, she told her father what she had found.

The girl's father told her that the gold coins belong to his friend and he sent for him. When the selfish man arrived, he told him how his daughter had found his thirty gold coins and handed them to him.

After counting the gold coins the man said that ten of them was missing and had been taken by the girl as he had forty gold coins. He further commented that he will recover the remaining amount from him (the girl's father). But the father refused.

The man left the gold coins and went to the court and informed the judge there about what had taken place between him and the girl's father.

The judge sent for the girl and her father, and when they arrived asked the girl how many gold coins she found. She replied thirty gold coins.

The Judge that asked the selfish man how many gold coins he lost and he answered forty gold coins.

The judge then told the man that the gold coins did not belong to him because the girl found thirty and not forty as he claimed to have lost and then told the girl to take the gold coins and that if anybody is looking for them he will send for the girl.

The judge told the man that if anybody reports that they have found forty gold coins he will send for him. It was then that the man confessed that he lied and that he lost thirty gold coins but the judge did not listen to him.

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom

*if you are unable to watch the video in this page, here's the you tube link https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_WpkbXzDo3k

Whose fault is it anyway?

There lived a lady who had the vicious habit of finding fault with everything and everyone. Her cleaner woman, though is doing the work non-stop,  "is always dodging the work.” Every repairman that comes to her house, “is a real cheater.” Every restaurant that she goes out to eat, “the food is unpalatable.” We come across such people every day in our lives. People who are hard to be pleased. Rather who refuse to be pleased. Why do people behave this way? What is the psychology behind such behavior?

The fundamental fact here is the insecurity that these people feel. Finding fault with others is one way of fighting that insecurity. A mechanism that puts them on top of the opposite person. Would love to share an interesting episode that I came across. 

An elderly couple were on a road trip and stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. The woman left her eyeglasses on the table and suddenly remembered them half way through the highway while driving, where it was difficult for them to turn around. The husband fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant about her forgetting her eyeglasses everywhere. Finally when they were back in the restaurant and the woman got out of the car to retrieve her glasses, the old man said, "anyways, since you are going in, you may as well get my hat too." !!!!
As I have discussed in my previous posts, we would recognize that, when we find fault with others we are only seeing a mirror image of ourselves in that person and that life is trying to show us that image of ourselves in the opposite person. This may be illustrated by an episode from the Mahabharata.

One day, Krishna summoned Duryodhana and Dharmaraj and asked them to make a study of the people in the kingdom. He asked Duryodhana to find out how many good people existed in the country. He asked Dharmaja to find out how many bad people were there in the kingdom. Duryodhana went round and reported that he could find no good person anywhere. Dharmaja reported to Krishna that he could find no bad man anywhere in their kingdom.

It is easier to find fault with others than accepting the responsibility. It’s a common human tendency to attribute one’s own success to “ability” while others’ successes are due to their “good luck” and one's own failures are due to "bad luck" while others' failures are due to "lack of ability". 

No doubt, there are times when finding fault / criticizing becomes necessary. Calling a spade a spade is not a crime. But how we do is what matters. If the intention is to project ourselves as superior or smarter, not only do we create negative vibrations but hurt the sentiments of others thus alienating ourselves from that person. On the other hand, if it's done in a humble, gentle and genuine manner, intending as a healthy criticism, then the act makes both the parties stronger. Most people learn by love and compassion rather than by criticism.

Another thought provoking email in this regard:

A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called his family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple, informal test; which he could perform and give them a better idea about her hearing loss.

“Here’s what you do,” said the doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone, see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, when his wife was in the kitchen, cooking dinner, he was in the drawing room, standing about 40 feet away from her. “Dear, what’s for dinner?”, he asked in a normal tone. No response! So he moved closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeated “Dear, what’s for dinner?” Still there was no response.

Next, he moved into the dining room where he was placed about 20 feet from his wife and asked the same question. Still further, he didn’t get his awaited response. He now walked up to the kitchen door which was another 10 feet away and asked “Dear, what’s for dinner?” Again no response! So he walks up and whispers behind her “Dear, what’s for dinner?”

“Darling, for the fifth time I’ve said, “Tomato rice”. “Do you have some hearing problem?” 

Sometimes the problem may not be with the other person as we always think. It could be within us. Let’s look within ourselves before we find fault with others.

Racing through life

A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her trolley. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her "no." The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Priya, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don't be upset. It won't be long."

He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, "There, there, Priya. Only two more aisles to go, and then we'll be checking out."

The man again happened to be behind the pair at the check-out, where the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there would be no gum purchased today. The mother patiently said, "Priya, we'll be through this check out stand in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a nice nap."

The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Priya..."

The woman broke in, "Hello, my little girl's name is Tanya... I'm Priya."

They say patience is a virtue. But mustering patience with stubborn folks and certain testing situations like the one that woman Priya faced is something commendable. There is a good news and bad news here. Bad news is one can be taxed beyond reason in these cases. But good news is that exercising this virtue is not as complex as it sounds. It’s in fact easier than that.

If we analyze, we would understand that impatience arises out of the feeling that we want our wishes to be fulfilled immediately. We are in no mood to wait. We go to a doctor. The doctor sometimes turns up late and makes us wait. We lose our patience. We want the doctor to come "now". The snarling traffic in the morning while going to work. We lose our patience. We want to reach the office immediately. The same traffic in the evening while returning home. Story repeats. We want to reach home "now". Delayed departure of flights—we want the flight to take-off "now." 

It’s that “now” that creates the havoc in our minds. The secret is to erase that “now” from the mind and look the other way. The best way to cheat the mind is to start enjoying the situation. By reading that book which we otherwise don’t find time to read at home, while waiting for that doctor. I normally utilize this time for solving my Sudoku and crossword. It’s the best time that I enjoy. Listening to some good music and enjoying the jokes that the RJ cracks in that FM instead of sulking, while waiting for that traffic to move. These RJ’s have real knack to lighten up any situation. By lazily watching the myriad of people breezing around you while waiting for that flight to take off……. life is interesting! Enjoy. 

I came across a beautiful real life story by Gina Wehman that I would like to share with all of you.

Last fall I hung outside my window a bird feeder. Now not knowing the first thing about wild birds, I assumed that as soon as I hung this bird feeder outside, a multitude of beautiful birds would be swooping to my new addition. Days, weeks and months went by; NO BIRDS. 

I asked so many people what to do? What was I doing wrong? "Nothing" most of them replied. "Just wait." So I waited and waited and waited trying everything possible, to attract these birds. 

I cleaned off the deck, I changed the feed, I washed the feeders, I even made the cat go out the other door! But nothing seemed to work. So......I waited, "with patience and hope." 

Two (2) months later, on a Saturday afternoon, I FROZE! What to my eyes had appeared on the bird feeder but the most beautiful bird I have ever seen in my life! All of a sudden HUNDREDS UPON HUNDREDS OF BIRDS WERE APPEARING FROM EVERYWHERE! 

What a beautiful lesson I learned from this little creature. "Patience and hope" and "things" will attract the beautiful things in life. I never realized how much patience I really do have and how much I do rely upon "hope" to sort out the questions in my heart. 

So I keep hoping and waiting, waiting and hoping. I will try to use this "little lesson" with so many other things in my life. I guess "patience is a virtue" after all.

The lesson that life is trying to teach us here is that there are certain things in life which cannot be rushed. They would happen when the time is ripe. We have to wait patiently. When the ripe fruit falls in our hand at the right time, it tastes heavenly. Nothing else can match that feeling. The feeling of Bliss.

"Don't race through life too fast. Life is a journey to be savored each step of the way," said someone. 

Remaking ourselves

“Heal the world; make it a better place; for you and for me…………..” sang Michael Jackson. All of us dream about living in a happy and peaceful world. And very heroically we step out for changing the world around us. When stuck in a fixed thought we refuse to see the reality. We feel we CAN perform as big a feat as changing the world around us. But soon we realise that its much easier to change our outlook, our thought patterns than expect the world to change. Mahatma Gandhi's topmost quote for changing the world is "Be the change you want to see in the world."




"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."-says Leo Tolstoy

Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled a prosperous country. One day, he went for a trip to some distant areas of his country. When he was back to his palace, he complained that his feet were very painful, because it was the first time that he went for such a long trip, and the road that he went through was very rough and stony. He then ordered his people to cover every road of the entire country with leather.

Definitely, this would need thousands of cows' skin, and would cost a huge amount of money.

Then one of his wise servants dared himself to tell the king, "Why do you have to spend that unnecessary amount of money? Why don't you just cut a little piece of leather to cover your feet?"

The king was surprised, but he later agreed to his suggestion, to make a "shoe" for himself.

There is actually a valuable lesson of life in this story: to make this world a happy place to live, you better change yourself - your heart; and not the world.

The Hawaiin practice Ho'oponopono which we discussed in our earlier post basically works on this principle. The problems that we encounter are not external but lies within ourselves; to change the external reality we have to undergo some internal changes.

“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves,” says Mahatma Gandhi.

Remake ourselves? We've only heard of remake of old movies and old songs. What is the remake that Gandhi is talking about? The main road blocks in our path towards change are, worry, anger, ingratitude, unkindness, dishonesty, etc. If we can overcome them we can “remake” ourselves.

If you go to learn Reiki, the first thing they tell you to follow is these 5 principles:

Just for today, I’ll give thanks to my many blessings

Just for today, I’ll not worry

Just for today, I’ll not be angry

Just for today, I’ll do my work honestly

Just for today, I’ll be kind to every living thing.

Obviously you don’t need to be Reiki student to follow these. These are meant for everyone. If we sincerely practice these simple affirmations every day, we can see a sea of change in our own selves.

The following is inscribed on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop in the Westminster Abbey (1100 A.D)

"When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older, and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country.

But it, too, seemed immovable.

As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.

And now, as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family.

From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country, and who knows, I may have even changed the world."


I bow down to this Bishop. Amen

"AYE!", "LYE!" & "FLY!"

A friend posted in Facebook "AYE!"  (Appreciate Yourself Everyday). I added  "LYE!" (Love Yourself Everyday). Another friend posted "FLY" (First Love Yourself). The bottom line of all these is--Self Love. Yes, self love comes first.

Incidentally I happened to read an interesting article in http://www.energeticwellbeing.com/2008/05/hooponopono-drihaleakala-hew-len/ titled HO’OPONOPONO, Dr.Ihaleakala Hew Len and written by Joe Vitale, Author of “The Attractor Factor” wherein he talks about a psychologist / therapist in Hawaii, who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients--without ever seeing any of them. His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len.

The therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho'oponopono. When the author first heard this story, he thought it was an urban legend and so dismissed it. However, when he heard it again a year later, he felt he needed to know more.  He spent an hour talking on first phone call and asked Dr Len to tell him the complete story of his work as a therapist.

To do full justice to the story, I need to quote the author.

Dr.Ihaleakala Hew Len explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.

Dr. Len told that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.

"After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely," he told me. "Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications and those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed." I was in awe. "Not only that," he went on, "but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work. Today, that ward is closed."

This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: "What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?"

"I was simply healing the part of me that created them," he said.

I didn't understand. Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life - simply because it is in your life - is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life. This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy or anything you experience and don't like - is up for you to heal. They don't exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn't with them, it's with you, and to change them, you have to change you.

I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in ho'oponopono means loving yourself. If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone, even a mentally ill criminal, you do it by healing you. I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients' files?

"I just kept saying, I'm sorry and I love you over and over again", he explained.

"That's it?"

"That's it."

Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world.”

The author goes about telling how he successfully tried and tested it. You can read it in the link provided.

This convinced me more about what I wrote in my last post. That of scams, economy and positive thinking. Taking laws of attraction to another level is self love. Loving ourselves attracts more love. As simple as that. But why is it that we don't practice it often? Because most of us confuse self love with selfishness. Unfortunately we have been conditioned from childhood to think that to put oneself first amounts to self-centredness. What is the thin line that divides both? "Self love" spreads by including others too in the process while "selfishness" is loving one's own self at the exclusion of others. 

Ignoring the conditioned mind, let's start listening to our heart. Without procrastinating anymore, let's start practicing to love ourselves right now. Healthy self-love means doing things which adds quality to our lives........having confidence in ourselves, being kind to ourselves by binging on that chocolate once in a while, not feeling guilty when we take a much needed break to watch a movie occasionally, treating ourselves with a health spa when required, patting our own back on a success, taking responsibility for failures without remorse, be willing to accept help when offered, accepting and honoring our emotions when we feel like crying, accepting compliments gracefully, forgiving ourselves whenever we commit a mistake, being gentle and compassionate to ourselves...........these are only small beginnings. 

"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance" says Oscar Wilde. 

One word of caution though about this life-long romance. Knowing where to draw the line. Else we would end up like this woman who loved herself a little too much.

A woman was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner.

The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell her friends how upset she was with her lack of willpower, and how she knew her husband would be disappointed.

Everyone sympathized, until someone asked what her husband said when he found out.

She smiled. "He never did. I baked another cake and ate half!"

Gratitude to the Universe

   Many of us must've read the book or watched the movie "The Secret". The movie that created ripples of positivism in the world and brought the terms "Laws of Attraction" and "positive thinking" into drawing room conversation. 

      "Like attracts Like" is what the laws of attractions says which simply means that if we focus on negative thoughts, we attract negative results and vice versa. In other words, our life is only a projection of our inner beliefs. Like Laws of Attraction, Law of gravity too says, "whatever we throw, comes back to us." There goes another saying "as you sow, so shall you reap". Just as a needle in the compass which always points to the North, apparently, all these laws point to the same direction. 

      Of late, we are constantly attacked with whole lot of scams. Internet scams, online scams, facebook scams, 3-G scams, email scams, corruptions...........all the negative aspects of life. These scams have set up a deep root in our civilization. Hearing them day in and day out have blown our minds and numbed our brains that at times we are unable to react. But when we do, we react furiously. The media discusses it with much passion and fury. There are atleast 6 participants engaged in hot discussion, no one conceding to the other, allegations, counter allegations, with no possible solution at the end. Sparks of fire fly across but the status quo of the scam remains. All wasteful talk. We contribute too whatever possible from our side. What we do not realize here is that if we go by the "Laws of Attractions" we are only strengthening the roots by our violent reactions and are attracting more of this negative features. That is probably one of the reasons why these scams are increasing in great proportion of late. Without realizing, we create these.   

I'm reminded of a parable by Sri Ramakrishna.

A THIEF entered the palace of a king in the dead of night and overheard the king saying to the queen, "I shall give my daughter in marriage to one of those holy men who are dwelling on the bank of the river," The thief thought within himself: "Well, here is good luck for me. I will go and sit among the holy men tomorrow in the disguise of a holy man, and perchance I may succeed in getting the king's daughter."

The next day he did so. When the king's officers came soliciting the holy men to marry the king's daughter, none of them consented to it. At last they came to the thief in the guise of a holy man, and made the same proposal to him. The thief kept quiet. The officers went back and told the king that there was a young holy man who might be influenced to marry the princess and that there was no other who would consent. The king then came to the holy man in person and earnestly entreated him to honour him by accepting the hand of his daughter.

But the heart of the thief was changed at the king's visit. He thought within himself: "I have only assumed the garb of a holy man, and behold! The king comes to me and is all entreaties. Who can say what better things may not be in store for me if I become a real holy man?" These thoughts so strongly affected him that, instead of marrying under false pretences, he began to mend his ways from that very day and exerted himself to become a true holy man. He did not marry at all, and ultimately became one of the most pious ascetics of his day.

The counterfeiting of a good thing sometimes leads to unexpected good results.

This being the reality, life tells us that the best way to react to these negative aspects of life is to keep a positive attitude. As responsible citizens, rather than spreading negativity by discussing more and more of these scams, etc, the wisest thing that we can do is to wish and affirm that these are teaching us a lesson and that we are turning the leaves over to enter a beautiful new era filled with positivity. So the Universe and we will attract more of it. That is the least we can do for this planet. "Will that bring progress?" you may ask. Well, progress is not achieved by negative steps but by taking positive steps, though small. 

Says acclaimed writer Louise Hay, “It's as though every time we think a thought, every time we speak a word, the universe is listening and responding to us. The more grateful you are, the more you get to be grateful about. It's that simple. The universe really loves gratitude. And the more gratitude you have, the more goodies you get.”

There is only one saying which defies this law. It is, “If you smile, the world smiles back at you, but on the other hand if you cry, you cry alone.”

So, let’s smile more and more and attract more smiles………. JJJJJJ

Humor, the best policy

So, you imagine me to be a very serious personality with a grim face, writing about life’s struggles, lessons, woes, ageing, inspirational messages……..all that serious stuff? Let me clarify. The 2 women who made a great impact on my life are Susan Boyle and Rose (both in my earlier posts). The former said, “this is only one side of my personality.” The latter said, “you have to laugh and find humor every day." So, here’s the other side of me. The fun side. No its not a new addition. Reminiscing my college days, when the English professor would be passionately discussing the “Paradise” that Milton “Lost”, we a gang of 3 sitting in the last row, would’ve “Regained” that “Paradise” by stealthily sharing a joke from a joke book which used to be our Bible. This side always existed and continues to do so as our gang still exchanges jokes even though we are centered in different parts of the world. Jai Ho to my college friends, to whom I dedicate this post. Humorous poem, Humorous quotes, Funny story, joke—all this for you too to stay young.

First comes a poem which I chanced upon in the Net. It brought all smiles to my face as it was tailor made for my husband who is a committed Bridge player. Come rain or sunshine, he’s not the one to miss his Bridge game every week. Or else his partner would miss him, his Bridge partner, I mean!

A Lovely Hand               by Anonymous

Last night I held a lovely hand,
It was so small and neat, 
I thought my heart with joy would burst
So wild was every beat.

No other hand unto my heart
Could greater pleasure bring 
Than the one so dear I held last night.
Four Aces and a King

Here are some wild quotes:

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. Lily Tomlin

"There are two different kinds of people in this world: those who finish what they start, and"
---Brad Ramsey

"The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy."
---Unknown

"You've reached middle age when all you exercise is caution." ---Unknown

“The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about." ---Unknown

Graduation Speech: I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste.

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. Thomas Paine

If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight. George Globol

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. Mark Twain

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. Mark Twain

And a miserly story:

There was a miser who had worked all his life and had saved lots of money. He loved money more than anything. Just before dying, he told his wife, “I want to take all this money with me to the other side. So I want you to put all my money in my casket while burying.” He made her promise him with all her heart that she would do so.

And one day he died. He was laid in the casket; his wife sat next to it with a close friend. The ceremony ended. Just before the undertakers were closing the casket, the wife came with a big box and placed it in the casket. The undertakers closed the casket and rolled it away.

Her friend said, “I hope you were not foolish enough to put all his money in that box?”

The wife replied, “See, I’m a good Christian. I can’t lie. I promised him that I would put all his money in the casket with him.”

And the friend asked unbelievingly, “So you really did?”

“I sure did”, said the wife. “I got all his money. Put it in my bank and I wrote a him a cheque.”

And finally a saintly joke:

A saint who regularly lectures on spirituality goes to a vendor selling buns and says, “I want a bun.”

The vendor says, “4 Rupees”.

The saint gives him a 5 Re coin and waits for the vendor to give him the change but the vendor seems to ignore him.

Finally, the saint asks him,”Where is my change?”

The vendor replies, “Change only comes from within.”

Oh no. I’ve ended with an Inspirational message. Some people cannot be changed. (Pun intended) :)

Stay young

Growing old is a growing concern during middle age. It troubles most people. For some, aging is a dreadful thought. Because they feel that old age is always synonymous with general sickness and health problems.

At what stage does one really start aging? What is the yardstick? Becoming grandparents? Crossing 50? Or 60? Start greying? Well, the Government policy decides the retiring age as 60, meaning that at 60 you have become old enough not to come to work. Does one really become old at 60? Isn’t it a myth that after 60, there is nothing you can do anymore?  “Age is only a number” says Lexi Starling.

Michelangelo was appointed the architect of St Peters’ basilica in the Vatican to design its dome when he was 71 years old.  Harland Sanders, the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken moved to Canada to oversee his Canadian Franchises at the age of 75. He was active till the age of 80. He apparently wrote a book on cooking at the age of 70, which was found in the archives of KFC. John Milton wrote Paradise Regained when he was 63. The famous inventor Thomas Edison worked till the age of 83 in his laboratory. Mark twain wrote some of his master pieces when he was 71. The greatest discovery of Galileo was made when he was 72. Enough? No. Not really. Here comes the bouncer.

The story of Rose who joined University at the age of 87.

When she was introduced by the professor to others, one student asked her, "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?"

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel.”

Then on a serious note, she said, "I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!"

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester, Rose was invited to speak at football banquet. Her speech says it all.

She spoke: "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!......

.....There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything, I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability........

.....The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each one to study the lyrics and live them out in their daily lives.

At the year's end, Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation, Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

Certainly growing old brings some changes, some inabilities in the body. Like forgetfulness. But that doesn’t mean it’s a serious problem. Who doesn’t forget? And growing old has its own fun. As Rose said, one of the secrets of staying young is to laugh and find humor every day. Here we go.

An elderly couple had dinner at another elderly couple’s house. After eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The 2 elderly gentlemen were talking and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”

The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?”

The first man thought and thought and finally said, “what is the name of the flower that you give to someone you love? The one that is red and has thorns.”

“Did you mean Rose? “

“Yes,’ the man said. He turned toward the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of the restaurant we went to last night?”

Fly high

“Life is a struggle, isn’t it?” mused a friend during a conversation one day.  That came as a revelation to me. I always thought life is kind to everyone, not tough. But it looks as if it is. Was I wrong in my thinking? True, life is a mixture of complexities, but struggles? Perhaps life is trying to convey some key message thro these so-called “struggles”?

That set the thought process. Why do some people struggle? That too constantly. I’ve seen people who have spent the entire life struggling. Life’s woes never seemed to end for them. And why is life so easy for some? They get whatever they want with a snap of a finger. Life is cake walk for them. Are they born with the proverbial “silver spoon”?  

I got the answer through a story that came in my in my email recently. To quote the story:

“A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared; he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were nature's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If nature allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.

And we could never fly...”

If we want to fly high, if our aims are high, we necessarily need to struggle. And life without high aspirations is not worth living. For those who are born with silver spoon, it may be a joy ride. But the taste of success after a roller coaster ride has its own sweetness. People who have experienced it will vouchsafe for this.

Like the fluid that is present in the body of the butterfly to come out of the cocoon, nature has provided a mechanism as well for us to come out of the struggle. How and where do you look for it? Sorry. There is no Instruction Manual for life with a page for “troubleshooting” and solutions. It is that in-built mechanism. The mechanism to fight.  This mechanism is present in each one of us in varied strength. That is the reason why some people fight relentlessly and some give up half way through. That is the reason why suicides happen.

If we look at the life of great people, we can observe that at some point or the other they had to undergo some struggle to reach the top. Getting something extraordinary in life is never easy. The shining ornament that glitters in front of us had to go through lot of firing and hammering to get that shine finally. The shimmering diamond that attracts us had to go through lots of cuts to get that sparkle.

Yes, now I was convinced. I was not wrong. Life is NOT tough on anyone. All it desires is that we should fly high for our own good. Isn’t it kindness enough?