Offering genuine comfort to a grieving person is one of the most important things in life. It is an act of selflessness, as we offer a kind word or a reassuring touch to someone in need of it. But I’m sure all will concur that it is one of the most difficult tasks. Comforting others can be uncomfortable for many of us. We don’t know what to say. We are at a loss for words. We worry we might utter “wrong words” though not intentionally.
But this concern for saying the "wrong words" should not keep us away from comforting a friend or a loved one. Many times what needs to be said can be said best with silent words or by lending a listening ear. Hence, the best solution is often to say nothing at all, simply to be present. Simple expressions of concern are what is most welcome, especially if it comes from a good listener.
Here’s a passage from Mr. Bayly’s "View from a hearse," in which he talks about his grief of losing three children over the course of several years.
Comforting others isn't always about opening our mouths. In fact, our sympathetic presence and a sympathetic ear may be all that is needed. The suffering person gets more comfort when he is allowed to talk and listened to sympathetically. But it doesn't stop there. We need to pray for the endurance of their suffering too.. Sometimes all that is needed is just to be an attentive listener. Other times, they may want more of a dialogue.
There isn’t a soul who hasn’t seen hard times at some point or the other, though they present a picture perfect lives of them to the world. Life is giving us an opening to lend a comforting hand to the suffering. Lets grab it.
But this concern for saying the "wrong words" should not keep us away from comforting a friend or a loved one. Many times what needs to be said can be said best with silent words or by lending a listening ear. Hence, the best solution is often to say nothing at all, simply to be present. Simple expressions of concern are what is most welcome, especially if it comes from a good listener.
Here’s a passage from Mr. Bayly’s "View from a hearse," in which he talks about his grief of losing three children over the course of several years.
“I was sitting, torn by grief.
Someone came and talked to me of God’s dealings, of why it happened, of hope
beyond the grave. He said things I knew were true. I was unmoved, except to wish
he would go away. He finally did. Someone else came and sat beside me. He didn't talk. He didn’t ask leading questions. He just sat with me for an hour
or more, listened when I said something, answered briefly, prayed simply, left.
I was moved. I was comforted. I hated to see him go."
Comforting others isn't always about opening our mouths. In fact, our sympathetic presence and a sympathetic ear may be all that is needed. The suffering person gets more comfort when he is allowed to talk and listened to sympathetically. But it doesn't stop there. We need to pray for the endurance of their suffering too.. Sometimes all that is needed is just to be an attentive listener. Other times, they may want more of a dialogue.
There isn’t a soul who hasn’t seen hard times at some point or the other, though they present a picture perfect lives of them to the world. Life is giving us an opening to lend a comforting hand to the suffering. Lets grab it.
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