Looks or personality?

In a survey “Is it the looks or personality—which would you go for?” there were numerous answers. Most agreed that it has to be personality but despite, they do tend to go for looks.

Do looks really weigh heavier than the other aspects of the personality? Looks like it does in internet matrimony portal, sadly though.

A young spinster woman, 5’2” tall and little on the heavier side met with an accident and was to be admitted in the hospital. Her friend accompanied her. The nurse asked her about her physical height and weight specifications.

The young woman non-nonchalantly said, 5’8” and 58 kg.

The astonished nurse had to give a blank look.

The embarrassed friend whispered to the young woman, “Dear its not the internet matrimony portal!”

Many times, when we meet a person for the first time, in the blink of an eye, we make a judgment…

she seems rude,
I don’t like him,
oh he looks so compassionate,
I’m sure this one is a trustworthy person …..

Remember, first impressions based on looks tend to be based on personal biases and are made quickly without much consideration. Once this snap judgment is made, the damage is done. No budging.

It all started with a belief system during 18th century. A system called Physiognomy—the belief that you can judge a person’s character by looks, dates back to ancient Greeks and was popularized during 18th century. But during 19th century, physiognomy was written off as pseudoscience and met its own death.

Thanks to the researchers around the globe it has now taken a new and subtler avatar as new Physiognomy which is equally fascinating. Recent researchers believe that there exists some provoking indications that our faces can betray something about our personality and character.

Sadly enough even though the term “physiognomy” no longer resonates, the assumption of physical appearance as personality indicator lives on.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

No matter how much you push your looks, your ingrained personality traits remain the same.

Set yourself free

Dictionary defines forgiveness as “to stop feeling anger toward someone who has done something wrong; to stop blaming (someone); to stop feeling anger about (something).”

Understanding what forgiveness is not, is just as important as understanding what forgiveness is.

Forgiveness does not in general mean forgetting / overlooking / pardoning the offender. Replacing the hatred with happiness, displeasure with delight, exasperation with ease, petulance with peace and animosity with agreeability is forgiveness too. It brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him from being a prisoner of his own destructive frame of mind.

A beautiful legend tells of an African tribe that ritualizes forgiveness.*

When a tribe member acts irresponsibly or unjustly, the offender is taken to the center of the village. All work ceases and every man, woman and child in the village gathers in a large circle around the accused.

Then the tribe bombards the rejected person with affirmations!

One at a time, friends and family enumerate all the good the individual has done. Every incident, every experience that can be recalled with some detail and accuracy is recounted. All their positive attributes, strengths and kindnesses are recited carefully and at length.

Finally, the tribal circle is broken, a joyous celebration takes place, and the outcast is welcomed back into the tribe.

What a beautiful ritual of restoration.

Once again they are family. The rejected one is restored and the village is made whole.

* Story taken from http://www.LifeSupportSystem.com by Steeve Goodier

Though there is still a debate over whether forgiveness should replace negative feelings with positive feelings towards the offender, psychologists agree that it empowers the forgiver to heal and move on life.

Gratitude can change destiny

Shared from a Facebook post of a friend

There was a small bird living in a desert.

With no sign of greenery the bird had to hop around on the hot sand through the day.

An angel, while on his way to God, saw the little bird and felt pity.

He went and asked, “O little bird! What are you doing in this hot desert? Can I do something for you?”

The little bird said, “I am very pleased with my life, but this heat is unbearable. Both my feet are getting burnt. Only if there was a tree here, I’d be delighted”.

Angel said, “Growing a tree in the middle of desert is beyond my scope. I am going to meet God, let me speak to Him and ask if He could fulfill your desire”.

Angel asked God, if he could help the bird. God said, “I could grow a tree, but her destiny doesn’t allow it and I can’t change that. However, you can give her my message, which will help her survive the heat. Ask her to hop with one foot at a time. That way she can rest the other one for a while and change foot often. This way only one of her feet will have to bear the heat and other one will be able to rest and recover. Also tell her to remember all the good things that have happened in her life and be thankful to God for that."

Angel came back to where the bird was and gave her this message from God.

The bird was delighted by the idea and thanked him for the effort he made to make her comfortable.

After a few days......

Angel was crossing the same desert and thought of checking on the little bird.

He saw the bird sitting on big green tree, right in the middle of the desert. Angel was happy to see the bird in comfort but was very disappointed with God who suggested that there was no tree in this bird’s destiny.

He went to meet God and told Him the whole story.

God replied, “I never lied to you. There was no tree in the bird’s destiny. However, after you gave her my message, which asked her to be grateful to God for the kind things, she did put those words to action. She remembered every possible thing from her life and thanked God with a pure heart. I was moved with her feeling of gratitude and that’s what made me change her destiny”.

Angel was pleased with the answer.

A small gratitude can bring so much in our lives. Always thank God & Stay blessed