Humor, the best policy

So, you imagine me to be a very serious personality with a grim face, writing about life’s struggles, lessons, woes, ageing, inspirational messages……..all that serious stuff? Let me clarify. The 2 women who made a great impact on my life are Susan Boyle and Rose (both in my earlier posts). The former said, “this is only one side of my personality.” The latter said, “you have to laugh and find humor every day." So, here’s the other side of me. The fun side. No its not a new addition. Reminiscing my college days, when the English professor would be passionately discussing the “Paradise” that Milton “Lost”, we a gang of 3 sitting in the last row, would’ve “Regained” that “Paradise” by stealthily sharing a joke from a joke book which used to be our Bible. This side always existed and continues to do so as our gang still exchanges jokes even though we are centered in different parts of the world. Jai Ho to my college friends, to whom I dedicate this post. Humorous poem, Humorous quotes, Funny story, joke—all this for you too to stay young.

First comes a poem which I chanced upon in the Net. It brought all smiles to my face as it was tailor made for my husband who is a committed Bridge player. Come rain or sunshine, he’s not the one to miss his Bridge game every week. Or else his partner would miss him, his Bridge partner, I mean!

A Lovely Hand               by Anonymous

Last night I held a lovely hand,
It was so small and neat, 
I thought my heart with joy would burst
So wild was every beat.

No other hand unto my heart
Could greater pleasure bring 
Than the one so dear I held last night.
Four Aces and a King

Here are some wild quotes:

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. Lily Tomlin

"There are two different kinds of people in this world: those who finish what they start, and"
---Brad Ramsey

"The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy."
---Unknown

"You've reached middle age when all you exercise is caution." ---Unknown

“The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about." ---Unknown

Graduation Speech: I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste.

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. Thomas Paine

If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight. George Globol

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. Mark Twain

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. Mark Twain

And a miserly story:

There was a miser who had worked all his life and had saved lots of money. He loved money more than anything. Just before dying, he told his wife, “I want to take all this money with me to the other side. So I want you to put all my money in my casket while burying.” He made her promise him with all her heart that she would do so.

And one day he died. He was laid in the casket; his wife sat next to it with a close friend. The ceremony ended. Just before the undertakers were closing the casket, the wife came with a big box and placed it in the casket. The undertakers closed the casket and rolled it away.

Her friend said, “I hope you were not foolish enough to put all his money in that box?”

The wife replied, “See, I’m a good Christian. I can’t lie. I promised him that I would put all his money in the casket with him.”

And the friend asked unbelievingly, “So you really did?”

“I sure did”, said the wife. “I got all his money. Put it in my bank and I wrote a him a cheque.”

And finally a saintly joke:

A saint who regularly lectures on spirituality goes to a vendor selling buns and says, “I want a bun.”

The vendor says, “4 Rupees”.

The saint gives him a 5 Re coin and waits for the vendor to give him the change but the vendor seems to ignore him.

Finally, the saint asks him,”Where is my change?”

The vendor replies, “Change only comes from within.”

Oh no. I’ve ended with an Inspirational message. Some people cannot be changed. (Pun intended) :)

Stay young

Growing old is a growing concern during middle age. It troubles most people. For some, aging is a dreadful thought. Because they feel that old age is always synonymous with general sickness and health problems.

At what stage does one really start aging? What is the yardstick? Becoming grandparents? Crossing 50? Or 60? Start greying? Well, the Government policy decides the retiring age as 60, meaning that at 60 you have become old enough not to come to work. Does one really become old at 60? Isn’t it a myth that after 60, there is nothing you can do anymore?  “Age is only a number” says Lexi Starling.

Michelangelo was appointed the architect of St Peters’ basilica in the Vatican to design its dome when he was 71 years old.  Harland Sanders, the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken moved to Canada to oversee his Canadian Franchises at the age of 75. He was active till the age of 80. He apparently wrote a book on cooking at the age of 70, which was found in the archives of KFC. John Milton wrote Paradise Regained when he was 63. The famous inventor Thomas Edison worked till the age of 83 in his laboratory. Mark twain wrote some of his master pieces when he was 71. The greatest discovery of Galileo was made when he was 72. Enough? No. Not really. Here comes the bouncer.

The story of Rose who joined University at the age of 87.

When she was introduced by the professor to others, one student asked her, "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?"

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel.”

Then on a serious note, she said, "I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!"

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester, Rose was invited to speak at football banquet. Her speech says it all.

She spoke: "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!......

.....There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything, I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability........

.....The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each one to study the lyrics and live them out in their daily lives.

At the year's end, Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation, Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

Certainly growing old brings some changes, some inabilities in the body. Like forgetfulness. But that doesn’t mean it’s a serious problem. Who doesn’t forget? And growing old has its own fun. As Rose said, one of the secrets of staying young is to laugh and find humor every day. Here we go.

An elderly couple had dinner at another elderly couple’s house. After eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The 2 elderly gentlemen were talking and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”

The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?”

The first man thought and thought and finally said, “what is the name of the flower that you give to someone you love? The one that is red and has thorns.”

“Did you mean Rose? “

“Yes,’ the man said. He turned toward the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of the restaurant we went to last night?”

Fly high

“Life is a struggle, isn’t it?” mused a friend during a conversation one day.  That came as a revelation to me. I always thought life is kind to everyone, not tough. But it looks as if it is. Was I wrong in my thinking? True, life is a mixture of complexities, but struggles? Perhaps life is trying to convey some key message thro these so-called “struggles”?

That set the thought process. Why do some people struggle? That too constantly. I’ve seen people who have spent the entire life struggling. Life’s woes never seemed to end for them. And why is life so easy for some? They get whatever they want with a snap of a finger. Life is cake walk for them. Are they born with the proverbial “silver spoon”?  

I got the answer through a story that came in my in my email recently. To quote the story:

“A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared; he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were nature's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If nature allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.

And we could never fly...”

If we want to fly high, if our aims are high, we necessarily need to struggle. And life without high aspirations is not worth living. For those who are born with silver spoon, it may be a joy ride. But the taste of success after a roller coaster ride has its own sweetness. People who have experienced it will vouchsafe for this.

Like the fluid that is present in the body of the butterfly to come out of the cocoon, nature has provided a mechanism as well for us to come out of the struggle. How and where do you look for it? Sorry. There is no Instruction Manual for life with a page for “troubleshooting” and solutions. It is that in-built mechanism. The mechanism to fight.  This mechanism is present in each one of us in varied strength. That is the reason why some people fight relentlessly and some give up half way through. That is the reason why suicides happen.

If we look at the life of great people, we can observe that at some point or the other they had to undergo some struggle to reach the top. Getting something extraordinary in life is never easy. The shining ornament that glitters in front of us had to go through lot of firing and hammering to get that shine finally. The shimmering diamond that attracts us had to go through lots of cuts to get that sparkle.

Yes, now I was convinced. I was not wrong. Life is NOT tough on anyone. All it desires is that we should fly high for our own good. Isn’t it kindness enough?

Dream a Dream

I happened to watch a video http://www.goldeninspiration.com/index.php/extraordinary-videos/item/16-video-4-susan-boyle-i-dream-a-dream

A simple lady in her late 40’s coming from an inconspicuous village, aspiring to be a great singer, contesting in the show “Britains got talent.” And how? Incredulous and amazing is what I feel. To quote the site, “When she started singing (Ignoring all the expressions and comments against her), everyone was mesmerised. People couldn't believe their ears. They couldn’t believe its the same simple lady from a small village. That was because she was singing from her heart, without worrying for being judged by the world and without fearing that she was being watched live by millions of people. Just after 6 months of her first appearance, her first album was launched in November 2009 and it was bestseller across the globe.”

I would recommend every one of you to watch this inspiring video. And do you know what she sang? “I dream a dream”. How appropriate!

All of us do dream. Dream of becoming an actor, a singer, writer, politician (an honest one!), a cricketer to play in IPL and earn for 7 generations, heading a corporate, a successful financial person, community worker working for a cause like Mother Teresa, a successful chef finding a way to everyone’s heart through their stomach…... the list is endless. But how many of us work at it to become a reality? Only few nourish their dreams. Many let it die a natural death. Perhaps deterred by indolence, perhaps not aware how to pursue it, perhaps lack of resources, procrastination….. It can be anything.

Socrates was once asked by a young man about the secret of success. 

In reply, Socrates took the lad to a river nearby and to his surprise, ducked him into the water. 

The more the lad tried to come out, the more Socrates pushed him inside. 

Finally, when the lad started choking, Socrates pulled him out of water and asked him, “What did you feel when you were struggling inside the water?” 

The lad replied, “I wanted only Air. I was desperately looking for it.” 

Socrates said, “That is secret of success. When you look for it desperately, you will achieve it. There is no other secret. ”

Life’s advice for us is to look desperately for ways to make our dreams come true. Like  when  Susan Boyle clearly said she wanted to become a singer like Elaine Paige, the first thing is to have a crystal clear intention about our dream. Not a vague dream like “I want to become a successful businessman.” I have to be clear about what the term “successful” means for me. Do I want to be successful in amassing wealth? Or do I want to help the community as well alongside? Or just want to leave a legacy for my descendants? Or just become famous and carve a niche for myself as a tycoon in the business community? I need to be clear about what I want to achieve or else how would I expect to achieve it? I cannot sow a mango seed and expect a guava tree to come out of it. 

Focus comes next. Each one of us walks our own unique path. Has our own unique dreams. We need to focus on what we want to explore, what we want to achieve. The best way to focus is to create a vision of who we want to be, breathing that dream during the day, dreaming that dream in the sleep, then start living like that person in our mind, as if it were already true.  Not so simple as it sounds. Focus is always accompanied by hard work. Nothing comes easy. Sure Susan Boyle must've dreamt her dream.

Next comes the distractions. The negative, dissuading comments from others. These really have a way to prevent us from achieving what we want. Again, we can take a lesson from the same video. How she ignored all the cynical comments and looks from the spectators.  We have discussed about dealing with these distractions in our previous posts.

The lesson I learnt from the life of Susan Boyle in the video—only if we dream a dream, our dreams would enable us to overcome any hurdle that comes across and give us the strength to achieve it. Combining it with positive approach is like garnishing that Dessert that you prepared, with that extra nuts and raisins. Devouring the sweet success is what remains. But like a buffet that is laid on a table, we have to go and get it, no one will bring it to us! 

Contradiction

Life does not expect us to be serious at all times. Its full of fun, frolic and humor. And full of contradictions! Am I contradicting myself?

The fact that there is something called ‘yin and yang’, ‘day and night’ that exists in life, shows that everything in this world exists as a pair of contradictions. These contradictions exist in ourselves in the form of joy and sorrow, success and failure, inspiration and dejection, likes and dislikes, etc., that we experience at times. But we also know that these experiences have a limited existence. They come and go. Which proves that these contradictions are like passing clouds and not to be taken seriously. The best way to achieve this is by treating them lightly and laughing it aloud.

Don’t we use contradictory or incongruous phrases—Oxymoron—in our daily conversation? Look at this passage full of Oxymoron.

It was whole half day party for married bachelors. It’s a new tradition. There was a small crowd. The host was holding a plastic glass in his hands with non-alcoholic beer. He then added alcoholic drinks to it. Soon his glass became fully empty and obviously, he was drunk. It was a pretty ugly sight. He wanted others to join him. One friend said, “Please include me out.” The host insisted, “Do not worry. No one will see. We are alone together.” His friend replied, “Not for once. I’ll never drink beer.” The host continued, “My friend, double negatives are no-no for me. You have to atleast join me for a cold hotdog and a fried icecream. You should also watch a live recording of my singing program. Its terribly good.” In reality he is not a good singer. There is something found missing in his singing. But the way he boasted about himself, he stood as a natural actor. He was a walking contradiction.

Someone is a walking contradiction when he is a hypocrite, to put it mildly. One who preaches but never practices, one who keeps his drawing room immaculate but the kitchen in a mess. In brief, one who talks the talk but doesn’t walk the walk.

Recently a friend narrated an incident about a parent who was worried. Her teenage daughter was ceaselessly tuned into loud pop music. Instead of listening to soothing classical music, her room was resonating with Michael Jackson’s “Black or White” and the like. The parent decided to meet the school principal and have a frank discussion to do something to save the children from this cultural attack. Surprisingly the principal agreed and assured the parent that the school would make Classical singing compulsory for all children. The parent was relieved to learn that her daughter and other children like her will be introduced to more soulful and sober music in school. She drove back humming “Black or White”!

The world around us is full of contradictions. But it’s a beautiful place to live in. Lets learn to laugh at these contradictions and live in this beautifully contradictory world with joy and peace. As I already said, these contradictions are only temporary. There is nothing permanent in this world except change!

By the way, do you consider phrases like “honest politician”, “attractive feminist”, “happily married”……… as Oxymoron? :) Do you have any more Oxymoron to share? Please leave your comments here.

Overcoming Challenges

I just read in one news about the total non availability of health care facilities for most of Ethiopia’s population. Does it mean that the people have to suffer? Well, the Government didn’t think so thankfully. They said, “What if the people can’t go to the clinic. We will take the clinic to them.” How wonderful! The workers often walk miles to reach families in remote areas.

Take the case of these two brothers. Come from a socially deprived family, an alcoholic father who couldn’t care less for his sons. One son takes to alcoholism, immerses himself in total self pity and ruins his life. His logic is, “Given my background, what else do you expect?” Take the other son. Just the reverse. A responsible person, leads a healthy life, staying away from any kind of addiction. His logic is, “Given my background, what else do you expect?” Ironical, isn’t it?

Life teaches us that all of us are endowed with tremendous power and ability. The power to rise above challenges. The ability to turn the corners around. The power to turn adversity into opportunity and opportunity into adversity. Both. We are our own friend, we are our own enemy. Krishna says in Bhagawat Gita, “aatmaiva aatmano bandhu, aatmaiva ripur aatmana.” (You are your own friend and foe).

“We are each responsible for our own lives. No one is and no one can be,” says popular talk show host Oprah who was initially thrown out as a news reader due to her tendency to get emotional. Not to be deterred, capitalizing on this tendency, she reinvented herself as a talk show host. And a successful one at that. A classic paradigm for turning adversity into opportunity. According to her she still faces many challenges but now has learnt how to handle them.

That one big road block between us and our goals is “Challenges.” When we do not allow this barrier to stand in our way, what we face is success. Sure some challenges and some obstacles may shake us. But……….

Looking at it in a more positive perspective and looking for ways to convert it as a stepping stone for success is one sure way of overcoming it. Like Oprah did.

Taking challenges as our blessings is another way to come out of them. “Bless a thing and it will bless you. Curse a thing and it will curse you….If you bless a situation, it has no power to hurt you and even if it is troublesome, it will gradually fade out if you sincerely bless it,” says Emmet Fox.

If only we understand that challenges are necessary for our growth, we would start appreciating them and that’s a sure sign of climbing the ladder of success.

Life tells us that there is nothing in it that we cannot handle. If we listen to that small voice we would recognize that we are capable of handling more than we think we can. Thomas Edison says, “If we did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.”

That little voice in me says, “let me astound myself.” 

World Environment Day

“World Environment Day (WED) is celebrated every year on 5th June to raise global awareness of the need to take positive environmental action.” Says Wikipedia.

Today, on this environment day, I have this riddle for you:

A potato's key tool, I have all the power.
I am generally used on the half or full hour.
If my cells were deceased or lost or the such,
My partner would only respond to your touch.
Who am I?

Answer A television remote control. 

Often used by a "couch potato". Channels are most often changed between programs, which end on the hour or half-hour.If you lose the batteries, the only way to control the TV is by hand.

Here comes the next question. 

Who invented the remote control? (There is a reason for my asking this question).

I recently read in http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-18164200 “TV remote control inventor Eugene Polley dies at 96”. 

Frankly, until I read this news, I never knew that he was the one who invented this magic gadget called "remote control". That set me thinking. Day in and day out I keep using this gadget. But it never stuck me to find its inventor nor appreciate him. How lazy I am? When I thought more about it, i realized that more than laziness, it was indifference on my part which made me act so.

More deeper thinking and I realized that this remote control is only a tip of the iceberg. Do I know who invented Mixie? Do I know who invented the blender? Do I know who invented the electric oven? Who invented Microwave oven?  I don’t! (for all questions). I’m using all these gadgets left, right and centre, 247! Shame on me! As my mind pressed the panic button, quickly my hands pressed the “Google” button. Even if you know, please check your answers with these: 

"in 1908, Herbert Johnson invented the mixer"

"The first electric blender was developed and in 1932, its inventor Stephen J. Poplawski received patents for it."

"The electric oven was invented by Thomas Ahearn,1892 who was a Canadian inventor."

"Dr Percy Spencer invented the first Microwave oven after World war II from Radar technology"

It was a shame that I ignored to find out the inventors all these days, let alone appreciate them. 

Now a little voice in me peeped out. “You are talking about manmade inventions. Have you ever appreciated the feeling of the fresh air on your skin, the sweet smells of the tiny flowers, the whispering sounds of rustling leaves, the tall mountains that stand majestically, the water that quenches your thirst, the (etc, etc) ………......which is around you 24*7?" 

Of course, I am sensible enough NOT to google to find its creator.

I realized how i've ignored to appreciate Nature and its Creator. Trees, plants, flowers, ocean, mountains...... It got me to thinking that, to be true citizens of the planet, shouldn't we be paying more attention to these and offer our gratitude to the Creator? Don't we take too much for granted? 

Consciously or unconsciously, we always link our physical / mental state with Nature. When we are happy we say “I feel sunny,” when we follow our dreams, we say “I’m shooting for the star,” to reach our goals, we say “I climb mountains”. Nature bestows us with peace and harmony. When we are at peace, we attract more peace. Isn’t that what laws of attraction say? When we take the time to protect our Environment and feel gratitude for it, we attract more of that value into our lives and more means to preserve and protect Nature in a harmonious way. Our appreciation, our gratitude and action in harmony with Nature can protect this planet and improve our lives on it.

These are the gifts that the Creator has given us with lots of love. Shouldn’t we offer him a return gift in gratitude? What is it that we can offer him? Protecting this planet from pollution of all kinds, keeping our minds from pollutions of all kinds by living in peace and harmony and spreading it. If we do it constantly every day, we don’t need to earmark 22^nd April as earth day, 5^th June as Environment day, etc. Do you agree? 

Distraction and Discouragement

I was watching a music reality show on TV. Crème of talents, winners from various shows pitted against each other. Some of them humble and some not so. One such champion (say A)  tried to demoralize the other  (say B) by openly declaring / challenging that B does not deserve to be in the top. Typical of reality shows. For all we know it might have been scripted. But lets believe its not so. When B came to sing, obviously he looked little perturbed. Anyone, after such an attack will feel so understandably.  When the host asked him what does he have to say for all these negative comments, he said very calmly, “Nothing. I just want to focus on my singing.” And focus he did. He sang with so much fervor that at the end of the show was way ahead of A, score wise.

Distraction and discouragement are the most relentless enticements in one’s life. It can prevent us from accepting challenges in life, saying, “No, I can’t do it.” Its easy to get distracted. And discouraged. Sometime back, there was a story going around in emails, where a tiny little frog wins the race inspite of getting booed down by the spectator frogs. I’m sure all of you might’ve received it at some point or the other. I received it more than once.  The story ends with a twist. Why and how did the little frog win inspite of all the discouragement? Cos he was deaf!

Well, deaf or not, life reminds us to turn a deaf ear to discouragements and distractions. Listen to that small voice that says, “Go ahead, come what may. Do not get discouraged. Success is yours ultimately.”

“Hutchison's Law: Any occurrence requiring undivided attention will be accompanied by a compelling distraction.” Robert Bloch quotes

Patience and Perseverance

First things first. Our day begins with the sound of doorbell in the early hrs by none other than the Milkman. "Dhoodhwala" as he is fondly called. Of course, the concept of Milkman exists only in Indian States. In the place where I live, we pick up 3 days’, sometimes even 1 week’s quota of milk from super markets. Nevertheless, whenever I’m in Mumbai, I eagerly look forward to this man in the mornings. Lest my morning cuppa will never get done. I recently read an interesting news in dailybhaskar.com under the heading “Mumbai milkman’s son is India’s London Olympics hope”.

To quote from this source, “Mumbai: The nation will soon be cheering for the Jogeshwari milkman’s son as he will represent India in the upcoming London Olympics. The 24-year-old freestyle wrestler, Narsingh Yadav, has qualified for the prestigious competition to be held in July. He became the fifth Indian wrestler and the first Mumbaikar to do so for the 2012 edition of Olympics.
The youngster worked hard to prove his mettle while his family has been supporting him in his quest to make history. His father operates as a milkman in Jogeshwari, western suburb of Mumbai.”

I admire the zest of this young lad. Perseverance under the pressures of a middle class family, with absolute focus on a goal and working towards it. Isn’t this worth admiration? As against another news which talked about an increasing number of students, weighed down by load of academics, approaching counsellors and psychiatrists seeking ways to fight 'suicidal tendencies'. Not to forget the actual suicides that have taken place in the student community, which is unable to take the pressures of studies, failures, etc and succumb to this tendency.

Life is teaching us about patience, tolerance, perseverance here. Those who pay attention to these are like the milkman’s son. Whether this young lad wins the olympics are not is not my concern. He may or may not . I look at how he paid attention to the small voice that prompted him to venture. How he didn’t ignore it. He has certainly enriched his life.