Redrawing gender roles

Shared from a Facebook page “Upworthy” (via inspiringthefuture.org)

It is a classroom with children between the ages of 5 & 7

One day three guest women come to the class.

One woman tells the children, “this afternoon we are going to draw pictures of people doing jobs. And the first we will draw is that of a firefighter.

All the children happily settle down to draw. “Mine is firefighter Gary," says one, “This is firefighter Stan"; "This is Simon. He is very strong,” say others. And it goes on.

“Next we are going to draw a surgeon,” says the second woman. Again a happy and hectic activity.

“What is the name of this surgeon?” asks the woman to one child. “This is Jim Bob. He is a brain surgeon,” says one. “He gives medicines,” says another.

“Next we are going to draw Fighter Pilot,” says the third woman.

One child draws a fighter plane and says, “This is Mr X. He rescues people.” And so on.

“Now we would meet these people for real,” says the women. There’s a cheerful “YES!” from all.

The three women go and come back as Firefighter, Surgeon and Fighter Pilot.

There’s an incredible gasp. Jaws wide open, faces with diverse expressions, the children look at all the three. They still don’t believe. “Fake, they are all dressed up,” they shout.

The first woman introduces herself as a surgeon.

The second introduces herself as a fighter pilot.

And the third, as a fire fighter.

There’s an unbelievable silence. The three women make the children don their caps and the children happily do so.

What is special about this incident?

61 pictures drawn were that of men and 5 as women!!!!!

Obviously, gender stereotypes are defined between the ages of 5 & 7.

When a real-life firefighter, surgeon, and fighter pilot drop in on a classroom, these kids have their assumptions turned around.

Watch this video https://www.facebook.com/Upworthy/videos/1309607832413405/

To remove this stereotyping, parents, teachers and other social agencies can teach their children to be androgynous, a person who may at will engage in both masculine or feminine behaviors & tasks as seen by the society; a person who focuses less on culturally built behaviours for males and females and rather focus more on a behaviour that is more operative under the given situations.

Isn’t it time we redrew the balance?

Adopting positive attitude as a way of life

Everyone wants to be happy in life. But no one believes that happiness is a choice. People blame all outside forces for being unhappy —relationships, fate, workplace experiences, … anything that they are not happy with.

Remember, you can either be a prey or a producer. The choice is yours. Making the choice empowers you to shift from prey mode to producer mode. Adopting positive attitude as a way of life, brings constructive changes in the way we live. We are in control of our happiness quotient by being so.

True, it’s easy said than done. If and when we really work hard on it, we can easily find something good about a situation that looked bad a while ago. Practice makes it perfect.

A little boy was heard talking to himself as he walked through the playground, carrying his cricket bat and ball: “I’m the greatest batsman in the world.”

Then he tossed the cricket ball in the air, swung at it with the bat and missed.

Undaunted, he picked up the ball, threw it into the air again, swung the bat at it, and missed again for the second time.

He did this four more times and missed all four times.

After missing the ball for the sixth time, he yelled out: “I’m the greatest bowler in the world!”

Life can be tough at times, painful at other times and testing at more times. But turning a situation to your advantage, like the little boy did, is the key. It’s certainly a state of mind well worth developing.

Happiness comes from within

We often see inequalities in societal life. Some do mean tasks and the others do white collared jobs. Although this inequality exists everywhere, there are many questions about it that makes us wonder.

Where did inequality come from?
Why does it continue?
Do we justify inequality?
Can we eliminate inequality?
Can we make a society in which people are equal?

Here is a short story; which gives a clear message of why we need this differentiation, not only from the spiritual point of view but also for the functioning of society at the secular level.

There once was a king ruling his kingdom peacefully and happily. But he was extremely sensitive to the inequalities that existed in his kingdom. He said, “I want to pray to God to make everybody like me. Why should all of them not be like kings?”

So, he went to the forest and meditated for a long time. Finally, God appeared and asked him what he wants.

The king said, “God, why are there so many troubles and difficulties? Why are some rich and the rest poor? Why can’t all be the same?”

God asked, “Are you sure you want this?”

The king said, “Yes, God. This is the type of kingdom I want.”
God said, “Ok, if this is really what you want I grant you your wish.”

The king was really happy and as he moved back to his city after crossing the forest, he suddenly found that the whole picture had changed.

The roads were dirty; all clothes were lying on the roadsides, unwashed; the drains were overflowing; and the king wondered what had happened in the few days that he was away.

He entered the palace and there too, he noticed that everything was tattered.

Then it dawned on him that all the people in his kingdom had become wealthy and had risen up the ladder like him. All his subjects were now potential kings. So, nobody wanted to wash clothes or clean the roads.

It then struck him about the mistake he had made by asking for a wrong wish because this sort of equality does not allow the society to function in a balanced manner.

Of course, the king went back to the forest and apologised to God. God appeared again in all His mercy and said, “Ok, now that you have understood the truth, things will come back to their normal shape.”

My thoughts: There are plenty of people who have all the luxuries in life but are unhappy, and plenty of people who have very little but are happy. The difference lies solely in the quality of their perception. Happiness comes from within, not from the outside. To live a harmonious community, it is important that inequality remains but not marginalized to the extent that one side is above the other.

We do not become poor by giving

The Universe is in an eternal state of cycles. Day & night, cycle of seasons, water cycle, seed to tree to seed….. Nature's attempt to convey to us that giving and receiving are two different forms of the same energy.

We keep the copiousness of this energy circulating in our lives in our readiness to follow this principle. When we try to cut or stop this flow of energy, we find ourselves blocked to receive the abundance that the Universe has to offer us. The act of fulfilling our desires is directly proportionate to the act of our willingness to make others happy.

When we understand that what we give comes flowing back to us in multitudes, we open the door to this flood of energy and would never make any attempt close it again. Because we begin to appreciate what Anne Frank says, “No one has ever become poor by giving.”

What are the ways in which we can give? Here's what Rhonda Byrne of Secret Scroll has to say:

From The Daily Teachings of the Secret Scroll

Giving opens up the door to receiving. You have so many opportunities to give every day.

Give kind words.
Give a smile.
Give appreciation and love.
Give compliments.
You can give courtesy to other motorists while you are driving.
You can give a smile to the car parking attendant.
You can give a warm greeting to the newspaper stand person or the person who makes your coffee.
You can give by allowing a stranger to go ahead of you into an elevator, and you can give by asking which floor they are going to and pressing the button for them.
If someone drops something you can give a helping hand and pick it up for them.
You can give warm embraces to those you love.
And you can give appreciation and encouragement to everyone.

There are so many opportunities for you to give and thereby open the door to receiving.

May the joy be with you,
Rhonda Byrne

The world is like a mirror

Three different stories pointing fingers in the same direction--The world we see is a reflection of our own inner selves.

Story 1

One day a class teacher asked her students to write on a piece of paper the name of the person whom they disliked most.
The students got busy. One student asked the teacher, “Ma’am when I don’t dislike anybody, whose name would I write?”
By that time other students finished writing and the teacher started checking the names.
She checked all the names and to her surprise could not find the name of this student in any of the chits she checked!

Story 2

One day, Lord Krishna told Yudhishtra to take a census of all evil people in the kingdom and told Duryodhana to take census of all good people in the kingdom.
Duryodhana came back and reported that there is no single good person in the kingdom. According to him, there was so much evil in the so called sages, hermits and other good Samaritans.
Yudhishtra came back and reported that there is not a single evil person in the kingdom. According to him all were good including the murderers and robbers.

Story 3:

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. One look at it and she realised the monetary worth of the stone
The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone & asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation.
The traveler left, rejoicing his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.
“I’ve been thinking,” He said, “I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious: Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone.”

If we are good to others, they would respond in the same manner. 

 

Looks or personality?

In a survey “Is it the looks or personality—which would you go for?” there were numerous answers. Most agreed that it has to be personality but despite, they do tend to go for looks.

Do looks really weigh heavier than the other aspects of the personality? Looks like it does in internet matrimony portal, sadly though.

A young spinster woman, 5’2” tall and little on the heavier side met with an accident and was to be admitted in the hospital. Her friend accompanied her. The nurse asked her about her physical height and weight specifications.

The young woman non-nonchalantly said, 5’8” and 58 kg.

The astonished nurse had to give a blank look.

The embarrassed friend whispered to the young woman, “Dear its not the internet matrimony portal!”

Many times, when we meet a person for the first time, in the blink of an eye, we make a judgment…

she seems rude,
I don’t like him,
oh he looks so compassionate,
I’m sure this one is a trustworthy person …..

Remember, first impressions based on looks tend to be based on personal biases and are made quickly without much consideration. Once this snap judgment is made, the damage is done. No budging.

It all started with a belief system during 18th century. A system called Physiognomy—the belief that you can judge a person’s character by looks, dates back to ancient Greeks and was popularized during 18th century. But during 19th century, physiognomy was written off as pseudoscience and met its own death.

Thanks to the researchers around the globe it has now taken a new and subtler avatar as new Physiognomy which is equally fascinating. Recent researchers believe that there exists some provoking indications that our faces can betray something about our personality and character.

Sadly enough even though the term “physiognomy” no longer resonates, the assumption of physical appearance as personality indicator lives on.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

No matter how much you push your looks, your ingrained personality traits remain the same.

Set yourself free

Dictionary defines forgiveness as “to stop feeling anger toward someone who has done something wrong; to stop blaming (someone); to stop feeling anger about (something).”

Understanding what forgiveness is not, is just as important as understanding what forgiveness is.

Forgiveness does not in general mean forgetting / overlooking / pardoning the offender. Replacing the hatred with happiness, displeasure with delight, exasperation with ease, petulance with peace and animosity with agreeability is forgiveness too. It brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him from being a prisoner of his own destructive frame of mind.

A beautiful legend tells of an African tribe that ritualizes forgiveness.*

When a tribe member acts irresponsibly or unjustly, the offender is taken to the center of the village. All work ceases and every man, woman and child in the village gathers in a large circle around the accused.

Then the tribe bombards the rejected person with affirmations!

One at a time, friends and family enumerate all the good the individual has done. Every incident, every experience that can be recalled with some detail and accuracy is recounted. All their positive attributes, strengths and kindnesses are recited carefully and at length.

Finally, the tribal circle is broken, a joyous celebration takes place, and the outcast is welcomed back into the tribe.

What a beautiful ritual of restoration.

Once again they are family. The rejected one is restored and the village is made whole.

* Story taken from http://www.LifeSupportSystem.com by Steeve Goodier

Though there is still a debate over whether forgiveness should replace negative feelings with positive feelings towards the offender, psychologists agree that it empowers the forgiver to heal and move on life.

Gratitude can change destiny

Shared from a Facebook post of a friend

There was a small bird living in a desert.

With no sign of greenery the bird had to hop around on the hot sand through the day.

An angel, while on his way to God, saw the little bird and felt pity.

He went and asked, “O little bird! What are you doing in this hot desert? Can I do something for you?”

The little bird said, “I am very pleased with my life, but this heat is unbearable. Both my feet are getting burnt. Only if there was a tree here, I’d be delighted”.

Angel said, “Growing a tree in the middle of desert is beyond my scope. I am going to meet God, let me speak to Him and ask if He could fulfill your desire”.

Angel asked God, if he could help the bird. God said, “I could grow a tree, but her destiny doesn’t allow it and I can’t change that. However, you can give her my message, which will help her survive the heat. Ask her to hop with one foot at a time. That way she can rest the other one for a while and change foot often. This way only one of her feet will have to bear the heat and other one will be able to rest and recover. Also tell her to remember all the good things that have happened in her life and be thankful to God for that."

Angel came back to where the bird was and gave her this message from God.

The bird was delighted by the idea and thanked him for the effort he made to make her comfortable.

After a few days......

Angel was crossing the same desert and thought of checking on the little bird.

He saw the bird sitting on big green tree, right in the middle of the desert. Angel was happy to see the bird in comfort but was very disappointed with God who suggested that there was no tree in this bird’s destiny.

He went to meet God and told Him the whole story.

God replied, “I never lied to you. There was no tree in the bird’s destiny. However, after you gave her my message, which asked her to be grateful to God for the kind things, she did put those words to action. She remembered every possible thing from her life and thanked God with a pure heart. I was moved with her feeling of gratitude and that’s what made me change her destiny”.

Angel was pleased with the answer.

A small gratitude can bring so much in our lives. Always thank God & Stay blessed

Nothing is yours

Taken from Facebook post of a friend............

There is an ancient story....

A man who has gone out of his town comes back and finds that his house is on fire. It was one of the most beautiful houses in the town, and the man loved the house. Many people were ready to give double price for the house, but he had never agreed for any price, and now it is just burning before his eyes. And thousands of people have gathered, but nothing can be done.

The fire has spread so far that even if you try to put it out, nothing will be saved. So he becomes very sad.

His son comes running, and whispers something in his ear: "Don't be worried. I sold it yesterday, and at a very good price ― three times.... The offer was so good I could not wait for you. Forgive me."

But the father says, "Good, if you have sold it for three times more than the original price of the house." 

Then the father is also a watcher, with other watchers.

Just a moment before he was not a watcher, he was identified. 

It is the same house, the same fire, everything is the same. but now he is not concerned. He is enjoying it just as everybody else is enjoying.

Then the second son comes running, and he says to the father, "What are you doing? You are smiling ― and the house is on fire?"

The father says, "Don't you know, your brother has sold it."

He says, "He had talked about selling it, but nothing has been settled yet, and the man is not going to purchase it now."

Again, everything changes. Tears which had disappeared, comes back to the father's eyes, his smile is no more there, his heart is beating fast. But the watcher is gone.

He is again identified.

And then the third son comes, and he says, "That man is a man of his word. I have just come from him. He said, 'It doesn't matter whether the house is burned or not, it is mine. And I am going to pay the price that I have settled for. Neither you knew, nor I knew that the house would catch on fire.'"

The next moment the father feels, "Somebody else has purchased it, I have nothing to do with it; let the house burn."

Again the father is a watcher. The identity is no more there.

Essentially nothing is changing; just the idea that "I am the owner, I am identified somehow with the house," makes the whole difference.

This simple methodology of watching the mind, that you have nothing to do with it....

Most of your thoughts are not yours but from your parents, your teachers, your friends, the books, the movies, the television, the newspapers......

Just count how many thoughts are your own, and you will be surprised that not a single thought is your own. All are from other sources, all are borrowed ― either dumped by others on you, or foolishly dumped by yourself upon yourself, but nothing is yours.

NOTHING IS EVER YOURS....
Except God
Who is always yours!!!

When to speak your mind and mind your speech

A sage presented a prince with a set of three small dolls. The prince was amused.

“Am I a girl that you give me dolls?”, he asked.

“This is a gift for a future king,” Said the sage. “If you look carefully, you’ll see a hole in the ear of each doll.”

The sage handed him a piece of string. “Pass it through each doll.” – He said.

Intrigued, the prince picked up the first doll and put the string into the ear. It came out from the other ear. 

“This is one type of person,” said the sage, “whatever you tell him, comes out from the other ear. He doesn’t retain anything.”

The prince put the string into the second doll. It came out from the mouth. “This is the second type of person,” said the sage, “whatever you tell him, he tells everybody else.”

The prince picked up the third doll and repeated the process. The string did not come out. “This is the third type of person,” said the sage, “whatever you tell him is locked up within him. It never comes out.”

“What is the best type of person?”, asked the prince.

The sage handed him a fourth doll, in answer. When the prince put the string into the doll, it came out from the other ear.

“Do it again,” said the sage.

The prince repeated the process. This time the string came out from the mouth. When he put the string in a third time, it did not come out at all.

“This is the best type of person,” said the sage. “To be trustworthy, a man must know when not to listen, when to remain silent and when to speak out.”

Four important things to remember:

1. When to speak

2. What to speak

3. Whom to speak &

4. When NOT to speak

There can be no place for violence when there is love

Two friends were walking through the desert. At some point of the journey they had an argument, and the first friend slapped the other one in the face. The second one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, he wrote in the sand:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The second friend who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the first friend saved him. This time his friend wrote on a stone: 

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The first friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “When I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now when I saved you, you write on a stone. Why?” 

The second friend replied, “When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand because winds of forgiveness can erase it completely. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where nothing can ever erase it.”

“When someone does something wrong, don’t forget all the things they did right.”